Mishaps of a SAHM

Few pics of the girls - more to come!

2011-10-25T21:49:00.000-07:00

FALL 2011

2011-10-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well well well!

OMGoodness, I have been so terribly busy.
I havent logged on because I dont have any stinking time.

Im so busy with all my many responsibilities, most of you dont have the slightest clue. Im the mother of a 7 yr old - who has to be at school every morning at 730am. With a 20 minute commute. Im super tired in the morning so thats very difficult. I know I know! ready? im gonna complain more and your not gonna like it. (o:

I am also a mother to a very grouchy, defiant, chubby, uncompromising 22 months old!
nuff sed. i think so!

Wife to a very hungry and over worked man. (wait gota go cook- be back in 5)

PTO president of 7 yr olds school

Girl Scout Leader for 7 yr old

Church Relief Society (womens grp) Homemaking leader - with lots of home-making activities planned. What was i thinking!

We have gone thru planning and executing the school FAll Fest, a girlscout NUT fundraiser, a Christmas Holiday Super Saturday Crafting day, Halloween decorating, girlscout ceremonies, and off-site events on weekends!

Im sooooooo exhausted. My poor hunny is actually using his leave hrs to babysit for me. I havent been to therapy in awhile - and yes im in therapy. My second kid drove me insane - lol!

Therapy is good for me - cuz i get someone else's validation that IM NOT CRAZY - my family is! hahahaha LOL (seriously!)

Love my family and loving church. Love my friends - what left of them that is. hee hee

trying to organize, wash one load at a time, cook and shower, one day at a time. trying to find time to fit all other things in. Like holiday shopping, party planning, family time, and its underway - what is, you ask? LIFE.

Im a full fledged momma and never have time for anything - except service to others. I cant even remember my husbands name - u know that guy! uh.... (o;

LOVE YOU ALL !!!!!

The little things ....

2011-08-03T20:07:00.000-07:00

This is the life....
my girls, my hubby, bowl of popcorn, and The Great Muppet Caper movie.
*sigh*
loving life!!!!!!!

Hope your all well.

2011-07-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

Dom still at Fire in NM. Havent heard from him in 7 days. getin rough. Just read on another blog that a wffw (wildland firefighter wife)and her hubby use this device called the SPot GPS. It connect to email and cellphones. with husband outta cellsvc range he can still connect with you via satellite. He simply pushes a button on his gps unit and it send message to ur home base. how cool is that. you can even program message to be sent on command from gps unit. Such as "I LOVE YOU", simply sent from hubbies gps. This will plot his location on a map and u can see hes still ok, even when he hasnt called in say, 7 days. Gotta get one of these!!!!!!

on another note, Ry said something to me last night after prayer.
I was concerned she wasnt having a good summer and expressed my concern by simply asking her how she felt her summer was coming along and only 2 weeks remained. I said there are no wrong or right answers and she could speak freely. I was expecting her to complaing and simply pout about how bored shes been and its not fair "all the other kids get to do this and that...."
_________________________________________________________________
But that wasnt the case. She said very sincerely:
Im having a great summer ever mom!

(shocked i said U ARE??)

Yeah, I got to spend most of the summer with you, reagan, and daddy. I havent dont that EVER.

(well is there anything you want to do that is practical for our family?)

SWIM!

(okay, we can do that. so make a list of 20 things u would like to do in the next 2 weeks)

k, but can i do it in the morning, im really tired. i did alot of exercises during the movie.
____________________________________________________________________

She jumped up and down, waving her hands in the air, while watching a disney movie. She thinks it was hard work. When i think shes really maturing beyond her years, she makes a comment like this. lol.

So yes, i havent been the best mom this summer. so lazy. I dispise doing things with the lil toddler. she runs rampant in public and im embarrased to restrain her in fears i might kill her in public. she's tooo wild. i thought rhyan had ADHD when she was 2 yrs old. reagan is WORSE. but now i know its not ADHD or ADD, its purely Gods way of punishing me for my younger yrs as a college kid and for the hard times i gave my parents in high school. Karmas a B****!

Seems like Rhyan is experiencing the terrible two's with reagan.
She was unbelievable this summer and thats partly why i didnt do much with her. or maybe she reacted to me not doing anything with her? hmmm. something to think about.
She was scolded by me daily for doing something wrong. so much i packed away the tv in my bedroom. she has been on a "no tv" diet for 2 wks now. I made a deal with her. If she reads 300 chapter books in a 3rd and 4th or higher grade level, gets more exercise and helps out more with non-playing duties, she will receive her own computer. She said yes to the deal and we are off and this journey together. It'll be hard on my part as well. I cant do anything these days (or months) with Rhyan in peace. Reagan screams and needs to be in the middle of everything. Ive resorted to getting a babysitter for reagan so Rhyan and i can do things togther, like the old days. You know they say people in my church can help, but no one seems willing to do it when asked. Maybe they can see that Reagan really isnt that pleasant. I know thats why my parents wont take her. lol

My brother in law stops by to take Rhyan places but never the baby. Yet he took Rhyan all the time when she was a baby. I tell you, its because shes a terror!

poor reagan, no one likes her! tee hee

Reagan has this thing shes so proud of...she can close the doors in the house by herself. She just walked outa my room after rummaging thru her dads closet, grabbed a carabiner clip, and said so sweetly "Bye", waved and closed the door. Where do u imagine shes gone with that clip and what will she do with it???? in a few minutes ill hear Rhyan crying and yelling, "reagan hit me with this".............

such is my life these days *sigh*

luv u all and ill post more later. *smooches*

July 2011 Update

2011-07-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Well Well!

Whew, sure has been awhile. Isnt that an understatement. lol.
Well these past few days , the girls and I, went on a last minute trip.
Since last Thanksgiving, when Reagan ended up in the ER in Casa Grande, we havent taken any long distant trips- til Weds. that is.
We took off to see my ma. A last resort to attempt a "summer vacation". We have been coop'ed up in smalltown NM WITH Dominick. He had decided to take most of the summer off from stomping out fires. (my ma refers to him as the family rhino). Which i think is very cute. [side note: i havent been online for over 6 months or more due to my computer crash. Ive got a virus or trojan either way my laptop is seriously ill :o(]

So with Dominick home most of the summer, we had committed to spending more quality time together. Well, Dom took an assigment on Tuesday and ran away to Reserve,NM to the Eagle Fire. Two days later he was re-assigned to the Lookout Fire near Carlsbad, NM. With that op we took our money and ran. Literally! We drove to AZ on Weds night and it took 6 to 7 (stinkin')hrs with my "pottu" girls. Thats all the wanted to do. PEE! I stopped every chance we could so these girls could empty their bladders. Or more like, change diapers. They fought almost all the way. They screamed, they laughed , they cried. All within 285 miles. Way too much for this parent. Not to excited bout the next trip i have to take with these kids...alone. Sure helps to have a companion assist.
The trip back to NM wasnt tough at all. We left super early this morning, stopped for playtime at McD's, THEN THE BABY SLEPT, FOR 3 HRS, allllll the way to Holbrook. That was WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then she woke :o( :o( :o(
Fed 'em AGAIN and away we went for an hour long drive of screaming, fighting, nagging, laughing and and and .Need i go on?!

Arrived home to a lonely house, AGAIN, missing Dominick. So here I am typing to you finally. I have no spouse tonight and the kids have passed out cold. So I have all the time in the world to update y'all bout da "goin's son 'roun ar neca dawoods". Hoping I have time tomorrow night to do da same. Oh and by da way, we or I lost our nice digital camera so I cant post picts. sad isnt it! luv u all and hope you all are well.

Get it together Rhonda!

2011-03-21T21:13:00.000-07:00

These beautiful children I have I would protect with my life. But tonight I put myself and my children in harms way. I did the dumbest most unimaginable mistake of all time and I am feeling such guilt!

I really dont know what got into me. Thinking I could be quik with this task and everything would be fine. But the worst case scenario happened and it shook my foundation like you wouldnt believe.

Its 2 and a half hours later and I still cant shake the feeling. As of and hour ago my DH had been gone for more than 48 hrs on a fire assignment. Thankfully he got home just after all this happened. IF not I'd still be a mess. Crying like a mad person. Really I cant believe what happened but it has really made me re-evaluate the way ive been thinking lately. Just the other day I forgot i was preheating a pan, FOR 30 MINUTES! (maybe longer-who does that)

To add insult to injury, I made the most idiotic comment to my babysitters husband. Now Im sure he thinks Im a crazy person. I get so nervous around him trying to make a good impression that I resort to talking about his profession. Which is really not that important in the spectrum of things. Plus these are people I go to church with. He's probably telling his wife tonight that Im obsessed with his job. When really I could careless its the only thing short of no-conversation I can come up with. UH!

And im in this girlscout thing with a bunch of strangers whom make me very uncomfortable.

U ever feel like staying home and away from people would be the best option for u. I do. I am such a ticking time bomb that im almost certain that for me and my family - staying home and taking care of the kids is best for me to stay away from trouble. But with what just happened tonite I feel like im failing that job too.

*just wasnt a good day* My DH said, "tomorrows another day..."

Thats right and lets hope I learned a valubale lesson tonight. never leave the kids alone, even for a second.

Reagan attempts to escape

2011-03-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

When i saw her standing there I immediately thought of Uncle Matt! Uncle Traveling Matt, Gobo's uncle, from Fraggle Rock! lol

wanna see a portrait of me and my lovely dad!

2011-03-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

Anybody who knows the Muppets well. Knows that Bunsen, the grouchy - impatient scientist who'd yell incessantly at poor innocent Beeker, making him a nervous wreck. Beeker needed prozaic. What a mess feeble-minded beeker was!!

Dis me and my wonderful "not-so-patient" dad. Love ya dad! :o) *smiles from ear2ear*

2011-03-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Snow this past wkend. so over snow! so over...moving along...spring where are you, huh!

2011-02-22T21:58:00.000-08:00

OH! U peeps will not believe the trouble ive gotten myself in to.
Girl Scout Cookies! Nuff sed?
Oh boy, and Im not just a mutha wit a gurl and cookies. Im a woman in charge of 13 girls and THEIR ma's and THEIR cookie orders. Each averaged 100 cookies boxes each. which roughly works out to 44 plus 36 plus 3 cases, oh.... a lil under 100 cases of cookies. 83 cases at a dzn each is 996 boxes of cookies. Yours truly has to handle each one and tally em for our girls. UGH!!!! ( running aroun house screaming, and crying, asking self WHY? WHy? Why?????)

lol. *sigh* gather urself rhonda, she tells her self. Then she trys to muster up the last of her sanity to cook dinner for her neglected family. Her Husband thinks she has left him for another. Another man? no. Another box of chocolate covered cookies. She sits quitely in a dark garage corner nibbling lil by lil each morsel of Samoas from her cookie surplus.

Back to reality! U ladies jusdokno! mmmmm mm!
We're all still alive. Myhouse is a mess, My garbage disposal is stinkin up the house and that irritating. THe kids are getting biger by the week. Toni, Tj and Ry could be 2 peas in a pod. Their both long linky kids. My ma and pa think I starve ry cuz shes so thin. She eats mountains of food but grows so fast. I wana call her Steve Erkel. Her pants are so high, we kid bout a flood. Shes clueless as to what were saying. Her fav books to read these days are Magic Tree House. PErsonally, I cant stand em. Their very educational but I get so irritated by the characters. Its like im re-living The Teletubbies. Ugh!

Reagan has such an attitude. She loves Rhyan. She gets so excited when we ready ourselves to hed out da door 2 pik up ry. She sings rhyans name on I40 all the way to school. and screams with excitement when she sees the kids line up on the curbside pik up. its really a joy to experience everyday. but not as much as seeing her sleep in the car while i wait. *sigh* sweet bliss, a sleeping toddler! *sigh* had to sigh again. lol

hoep your all well. will try to check in again soon. take care!

Cookies...cookies, anyone! Anyone.....

2011-01-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

Dec 14th last post. (tis tis)

Hi ya'll

Girl Scout cookies are underway!
Selling lke hotcakes. $3.50 a box. Wana buy? Send me an email rlgishi@msn.com
Have a Fabulous, Relaxing Sabbath 2moro!
-ron

Im so not a baker!

2010-12-14T09:38:00.000-08:00

Hello Hello Ladies

I'm back. I have come to find out that its so much easier and less stressful for ME if I go grocery shopping at 4am. Hubby wakes up at 630am. Gets kids up and feeds and dresses them while i shower EVERY MORNING. How great is he? So While Im out shopping from 430am to 7am, everything is under control at home. I dont have to lug the baby out to the store at 8am, in the cold, and shop with all the other government wives on Fed Govt payday. lol.

Believe me, it gets extremely crazy around here.

So if any of you read post regarding my baked good gifts. Ive thrown in the towel and found an easier solution... Libby's Pumpkin Bread kit. Yahoo! So as I type I have 11 mini loaves in oven, 350'F for 50mins. yippee!

While waiting for Rhyan to be dismissed yesterday at school i searched mobile web for a recipe. Found one on Foodnetwork site by one Cathy Lowe. But it seemed to difficult for me. It called for all sorts of modifications such as, splitting gran. sugar portion to half white sugar and half brown sugar. adding a "lil" applesauce (how much? who knows), cut oil down to 3/4c. from 1c., use 2 c.pumpkin by volume not the 15oz can. too much for this newbie!

Christmas shopping is coming along. Reagan an i are getting to know each other and becoming good friends. We both still have our moments when we wish the other would go away but 4 now we luv one another.

Rhyan is happy this is the last week of school for the 2010 year. ME 2!

Dominick is out burning again. The received their funds and are crankin' out smoke on BIA. lol!

This has been one crazy year! But i had fun on my journey this year as a new momof2. Two sure are different from 1.

Ms. TOni, Rhyan and I were gonna end our involvement with scouts 2. But I got myself in some deep water. Your readind the blog of the new girl scout troop leader for Rhys troop. The council here is gonna split the existing troop between me and the original leader. Hope I can learn from her mistakes and hope I dont fall on my face.

Reagan loves to sit and look at picture books and color on blank paper, for now. She doesnt try to eat the crayon nor the book. I love that shes growing fond of books and curious as why we sit with em every evening, im sure. *warm feeling*

So will let you know how bread turns out. I also purchased the Krusteaz mix and will bake that tonite when ubby is home.

There is an Al-NOn meeting to at 12pm and Im gona try to sit in. First time. Have avoided going since I first had that lil voice in my head urge me to go, in 2000.

Maybe it'll help me figure out why im so messed up. :0)

Love you all and dont give up on my posts. I will always come bak. I may not do it regularly but I will never leave u. and u neither, right?! :0) :o)

What has happened in the past 4 weeks?!?

2010-12-07T16:28:00.001-08:00

Mommy has been such a grump lately that rhyan just said great mom is in Christmas spirit! Meaning yippee, mommy's mood is getting better. She says this as she sneaks a sip of my diet coke. URgh!!!

Three days ago, Reagan tried to get up and walk. Then on the third day of walking a step and falling. she Jumped up and took off like she'd been walking for weeks. Now, theres no stopping her. She had alot more confidence with ther new found talent. lol. She's getting into everything and enjoys exploring the house. Took her outside yesterday and she could believe her surroundings. She waddled off to the rocks and stopped to pik up a few leaves. (sorry, Ive been texting too much "pik".)

I have no pictures to post, sadly, because the camera is missing. Reagan loves to hide things now. Im positive she put the camera somewhere or tossed in garbage.

have to stop typing now, because im being forced to go get dinner from a drive thru. TO be continued......

2010-12-07T16:23:00.001-08:00

Rants from a Diabetic

A few things to complain about.
First I hate that I cant cook well.
I’m mad that Walmart has decided to stop carrying a few items we live on 24/7. Such as, Dannon lite and fit carb control for Diabetics, State Farm BEEF corndogs. BAD MOVE Dannon yogurt company!!

And I’m mad that Clean and Clear has stop making their foam face wash. In a foam pump bottle. They replaced it with this yucky thick gel that feels heavy even after you rinse off. I have terrible acne breakouts. When I found this light salicylic acid foam wash in 1993, I was instantly in love. Been using it for 17 yrs and now I have to resort to proactive. Bad move Clean and Clear! Lost this customer.

Oh yeah! And not to mention…. Slimfast company! Hey you hear me!
I’m still fuming that you have discontinued the low carb milkshakes. It had (in a 12ozs can) 6 grams of carbs. HATe HATe YOU! If I could start a blog solely for hating you everyday for this move. I WOULD!

These items were , besides the face wash, were staples to my low carb high protein diet. That really helped me lose pounds and pounds of fat.

Now on to the Holiday shopping. I envy those people with very few family connections. Sounds rough right? I mean how much of a grinch I am.
I get major anxiety every Christmas. For instance, I suggested to Dom that we complete all holiday shopping before nov. 30th. In hopes, to spend more quality time with our girls. Every year almost every night and more so closer to Dec 25th, we run around in the evenings trying to find gifts for everyone on the list. I hate it. because we have no time to bake, read, craft, or movie watch ALL together. This is suppose to be good quality time and I miss out on it every year.

Were almost there and our lists are almost complete. But im trying to take the frugal road with distant family and friends. You know. Not get too spendy but still give ‘em something that says “hey I appreciate you”. So I came up with this idea for baskets filled with cookies and sweet breads. Pre-bake and freeze until needed. But I’m at a lost for a real awesome and yummy knockout baked item for each basket. I could put lots of mediocre baked goods or ONE completely awesome yum-o treat.

I have a lot of baskets to make and a lot of peeps to think about. So you tell me if the following is ok. Too much! Or just right! Please I need your help ladies. Send reply to rlgishi@msn.com
Your input is much appreciated! -R

“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”

Whats Ive been up 2?

2010-11-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

Well as of 9:58am this morning. On my drive home from the Chiropractor, the baby fell asleep in th car. Far be it for me to wake her from her nap.
Ive worked out tradegies to situations such as this one.

1. get power inverter for power outlet in car.
2. obtain magazines, book, or laptop.
3. notebook, for "to do list" rough draft.
4. thank the Lord and my aunt an uncle for wireless modem.
5. obtain fattening snacks and diet soda for minimum one hr self entertainment.
6. sit back and watch as neighbors peek heads from curtains wondering what THIS crazy person is doing in driveway and NOT inside her house!

Its now, 12:00pm and shes still asleep but i think my car battery is dead. Jammin' out to music in driveway. Hah! (yea, thats right. I said "Jammin").

SAHM Reclaims Individuality or selfishness?

2010-11-03T10:10:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you felt pretty. Or Gorgeous at that?!
I'll tell you, its been over 10 years. It's 2010 and I can honestly say the las time I felt pretty for more than a day was in 1996. I weighed 125 lbs and in my first year of Junior College. I felt beautiful, briefly, when pregnant with Rhyan and Reagan. Really, I did. I loved being pregnant. I had an aunt of mine tell me this years, YYeeeaaarrrss ago! When I heard it then I thought she had to be living in a bubble. lol. But honestly I have to agree. I loved it, after the fact. Getting pregnant again is something we really would like but the last trauma I experienced makes me terrified what could happen next. So much that could go wrong with be pregnant.

I know, similar risks come from getting in the car day after day. Guess it doesnt mess u up in the head until it happens to you personally.

Back to my question...When was the last time you felt pretty good about your appearance or about your latest checkup from your doc? I guess what im asking is, are you happy with where your life is right now. Have you made all the right decisions for your life up to this point? You dont need to be thin to look beautiful. You can be 110 lbs, 5'10" and still look ugly because of your nasty behaviour. (who does she think she is, British?)
Im gonna try to be more pleasant with my interactions with my fellow human beings. I have been taking this high road for a while now. But i need to apply this principle to my extended aquaintances and family. On the same note, Im not gonna break my back tryin to keep in touch with peeps from years past. Reference to all those crazies that have 300+ "friends" on facebook. lol.
All my connections to people are close, intimate ones. I dont care to be in touch with people from high school that i havent had a conversation with in 20 yrs etc, etc.

I digress, back to my new outlook on mankind. hah! Also, I would like to make a proposal or challenge of sorts...To make you the best YOU, you can be. I read a quote somewhere from Judy Garland. It goes something like this:
Be the best You rather than a second rate someone else.
I didnt put quotation marks on it because its not the exact wordage. but you get it.

I have always looked at other people and wanted to copy or imitate them for their better qualities. But I have to find who RHonda really is. After, 33 yrs, Im finally asking similar questions. Shouldve had this revelation back in my early 20's right? lol. Im always late, at everything. Especially with a punch line.
Im always the blonde thats last to laugh.
"Ooooh! *laughing* I get it!"

I think God made a mistake with me. When he sent me down he forgot to send me with blonde roots.

Also I have to lose weight, because for me....its life or death. Being clinically catergorized as Type 2 Diabetic, 5'1" and 180+ pounds I could have a stroke, heart attack, or lose my vision sooner than later. I have more people to take care of and its my responsibility to be around for a long time to come. My ma seems to be worried bout my prospects of obtainging employment and my health. Although there is nothing seriously wrong she thinks im headed down a very destructive path of health problems to come. Maybe she speaks from experience and rather than fight her with "you dont know everything" I should listen.

Also this all comes after viewing my cousins beautiful wedding pictures from this past Sept. n Las Vegas. I saw all those people so happy and lively in the photos. My first thought was how wonderful to see a young couple marry and begin their adult lives together and how a family will soon follow. It brought a tear to my eye. Im so in love with love. yep, Im pathetic. My second thought...when was the last time I said yes to a photograph. When did I last feel comfortable in my own skin? In my clothes? IN JEANS?

I challenge you all that read this blog.

For 365 days, of making yourself a better person for YOU and then for your familia!
?Entiendes?

Girl Scout MAGNUT Sale 2010

2010-10-04T10:31:00.000-07:00

Rhyan's Daisy troop is selling Magazines, Nuts, and chocolates!!! Yum yum yum!

Call me, txt or email me if you'd like to buy. There $5 and $6. Delivered to us on Nov. 15th and I will ship out by the 17th via USPS.

A. WHOLE CASHEWS $6
A classic favorite roasted and salted to perfection. 8 oz.

B. MINT MELTWAYS $6
The smoothest chocolate with a hint of mint. 6 oz.

C. CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUTS $6
Crunchy peanuts dipped in smooth milk chocolate. 10oz.

D. CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISINS $6
The plumpest raisins covered in smooth milk chocolate. 11oz.

E. PISTACHIOS $6
Natural pistachios roasted and salted in the shell. 7.5 oz.

F. CRANBERRY NUT MIX $5
A tasty mix of peanuts, raisins, cranberries, cashews, banana chips, almonds, and walnuts. 7 oz.

G. BUTTER TOASTED PEANUTS $5
LIghtly toasted peanuts with a buttery flavor. 10oz.

H. DELUXE PECAN CLUSTERS $5
Crunchy pecan clusters covered in caramel and milk chocolate (turtles) 5 oz.

I. PEANUT BUTTER DREAMS $5
A scrumptious treat made of peanut utter and milk chocolate (i.e. Reeses peanut butter cups). 5 oz.

J. HOT CAJUN CRUNCH $5
Cajun corn sticks, seasoned peanuts, pretzels, and sesame sticks. 7oz.

K. FRUIT SLICES $5
Fat free! Chewy fruit slices in an asst of flavors (faux candy fruit slices coated with granulated sugar). 14oz.

Thanks you all!
-ron

My First Clickstart Computer for Preschooler FOR SALE

2010-10-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

USED.
$15.00
age: 3-5 yr olds.
Comes with AC power adapter. Rhyan had many fun-filled afternoons with this learning game system. We have graduated to Vtech V motion system and she loves that. Listed this on Ebay.com but not sure if it'll sell.

Reagan the Jumpin Bean!

2010-10-03T22:51:00.000-07:00

After reading babyfood website I found Reagan can eat Cheerios and yogurt. Well much more than that but these items were the only 2 on hand from her "list". She took well to liking the cheerios and gobbled down 2 ounces of my yogurt. Since this video she has eaten many adult foods. Such as, macaroni, string cheese, pancakes, avocados, bananas, egg yolk for now. We'll see how well she takes to mommies meat ground up in processor and mixed with baby food flavors like pears and applesauce. Im so happy she's eaten more than Rhyan ever did. Also have to consider the 2 of em were raised in different situations. Rhyan was on the go from one state to the next and didnt get much attention as an infant or toddler. Versus Reagan, shes in a more stable home and hardly gets to travel. I have more time to nuture Reagan than Rhyan ever received. poor Ry! But in the end were glad thats all over with and we're just fine in our humble surroundings! My mom gave Reagan that Navajo doll (its a candy jar topper or toilet paper roll cover thingy). From the moment we took it outta the bag she has been mesmerized by that doll. Why? We think its the shiny accessories the doll wears. Has to be. Or maybe its because Reagan notices the dolls chubby cheeks are much like hers. lol. Either way she gets a treat every so often and pull off the shelf. So she can love the dollie! See how calm she is with it. We've had to teach her to be gentle.You see how rough she is with the highchair. Thats a sample of how she plays with Rhyan. She is getin better at recognizing the calm voice and not swinging like a cavewoman at people, food, or toys. lol Either way, calm or crazy - we still love her. :o)

Im back!!!

2010-09-28T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well, i have a picky eater on my hands. Or, she's tired of being spoon fed.
Back to the drawing board.
I rely on a wholesomebabyfood.com for all my questions on feeding baby. Its alot more helpful than the pediatricians in this town. They really never have any definitive answers that seems to suggest DO THIS or TRY THIS. Their answers are always too vague for me.
One peds profesional told me it was O.K. to give the baby (at age 6months) tap water. She had to have been on crack! Im not super neurotic about ORGANIC this and ORGANIC that. Dont get me wrong. I just dont trust the employees of the water filtration plant. They way this town works, everyone 'roun here cuts corners at the time. Whos to say one day, one employee comes to work lazy and decides things DONT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE PRECISE. huh? that would be the day i give my child tap water. LAter, find out that everyone has to be quaratined for an illness brought on by an organism not typical to thrive in tap water. Murphy's Law people.

So im back online reading. trying to find what solid foods are ok for Reagan. She gets finicky when I try to feed her from a spoon. But, place puffs or yougurt melts in her reach and she'll tear em up. She stares at our food when we eat and fusses when we dont offer our food to her. Yesterday, Rhyan and I were savoring our sugar-free popsicle when Reagan decided to let out a chilling shriek. Needless to say she got our attention and we could see the trance she was in - staring, yearning for a taste. I figured whats the harm, right? mistake. huge.

I had to give up the popsicle and later cleaned it off the highchair belts, her hair, under many layers of chubbiness called a neck, between fingers, and the tray. Yes, it was fun to watch. Alarming really. How well she took control of that popsicle and devoured it. Not hesitation to the intense cold. She woofed it down and let large bites slowly melt away in her mouth. Rhyan to this day still spits out her bites, holds it in her hand, while mommy watches the juice drip from the fingers and screaming, "GET A BOWL".

So yes, Reagan is my lil cookie monster. She hasnt tried cookies yet. She just eats like the dude! shoving food in her mouth like its gonna disappear into thin air if she doesnt whoof it down immediately. lol.

Reading the website, ive realized I can give her alot more solid foods than i anticipated. Thinking shes geting tired of jarred baby food. So back to the kitchen to dust off the food processor and begin the search for the right food she'll eat. *sigh*

2010-07-29T22:38:00.000-07:00

This summer has gone extremely fast. I havent had time to be consistent with Rhyans summer school lessons, like I would have wanted to.

Rhyan hasnt been to the park with me all summer. can you believe that. unreal right. well its true.

Life has been so unpredicatable and tiresome since June. Dom has been gone almost all summer it feels like. Its ridiculous really. I dont know how women send their husbands away for war or to work on an oil rig for months on end. I just dont know. They must have a strong support system helping them at home. Me? no.

I had to pay one of Dom's family members just to come over and help. Really I did. $10 an hour thats how really.

Initially I hired her for 2 hrs in the mornings so I could get to the gym. Well I dont know what made her decide 10 an hour but its toooo rich for my blood. She was hired for 2 hrs for the next 5 weeks, until school starts. But now Ive reduced the time to an hour a day. still at 10 an hr thats $50 a week. Just to get in some exercise and alone time. LEt me tell you. This morning I felt it was every bit necessary. as I walked around the neighborhood and had time to think in the silence. I figured whatha hay! Just for 60 minutes of that much happiness. Im taking full advantage of it.

Reagan still cries all day everyday. I cant take it. Im so tired. I would just like sometime when I dont have to hear crying. TOnight as I put her to sleep I could handle it anymore. I sat on the bed with my ears covered watching her. As she crawled ever so carfully in the dark toward my feet. Of course rhy was crying too. Yelling at me that I was the worse mom ever and how could I do that to her sister. That is let her cry while I watched her.

Dom has been gone only 3 days and we have 11 more to go. But that doesnt include the one day to de-mob (signout and get traveling papers) and the 2 days to drive home from south cali. Hes at the Bull Fire in KernValley, CA. My Birthday was yesterday and I spent it with a screaming kid in very hot weather.

If we could just stay home I know the baby would be ok. But I neglected the shopping for 2 weeks and decided to tackle that chore when DC got called out to California. Ugh! way to go rhonda. leaving it to the las minute. Plus I started a project in the front yard in early June and its still not complete. IT was a project that was only suppose to take 1 week to complete. But ive run into soo many problems its not even funny now. Ive resorted to hiring a handyman to finish was I started.

I tried to lay patio stones in the front yard. I pulled tons of decorative gravel from a 8 ft by 22 ft section. Moved 15 barrels of dirt to level. Purchased and moved (all bymyself) 178 patio stones from home depot. That each way 23 pounds. Loaded into our truck bymyself with two very grouchy kids on 4 separate trips over a 45 day span. Did most of the work outside while the baby sat in the stroller and rhy played in the mud. After days an days of reagan outside and breaking out in bloody eczema rashes in the heat and countless nat bites on her head. I surrendered to asking my neighbor to help out in the mornings.

Well she cant help but only on some days and even then there few and FAR between. See her hubby is not a nice man. He doesnt like her visiting with anyone outside the home when hes home. Hes a medical flight paramedic. SO he sits home waiting her calls. But he has these days called admin days that rquire him away from home at a set time. 8am to 5pm. Those days are when she can help. So she was watching the kids 730am to 12pm for about 3 weeks. Which basically worked out to 4 or 5 actual days over a 3 or 4 wk period. Not much time to get anything done. So even then I was still fumbling over what to do. I had to left feet and all thumbs trying to do this DIY project. Im sure all the drive bys laughed hysterically at all my mistakes.

So Dominick returned from his 17 day assignment promising to help. But got to involved with problems at work and didnt have time for my stuff. Then life got in the way. Other people needed help and we had to leave for days on end out of state. then we returned and monsoon hit. Its been raining everyday for almost a month now. Horrific. Dom finally installed our rain barrel which is great for the foundation but a complete eye sore. Yuk! super Ugly.But a relief for us and the neighbor. Sunday us and our 6 ft neighbor were outside scoooping buckets of rain water from the excavated yard in the rain. Inknow sounds so unreal, but honest im telling the truth. in the rain we had to unscrew the douwnspout and install the bucket. it was a mess. we were drenched. lol.

ill have to post pictures of my yard and show you all what a catastrophe it really is.

Can you count how many times in this post I used the word, "really" and "real". Its my word of the day.

So now Im waiting for my handyman to show and he promises to get the pation done in 4 hrs. But we'll have to see. I hope this guy doesnt flake on me. My life is crazy. For 3 months or maybe four months now, I havent been to sacrament at my church. Dumb really. But its all because Im on my own and even when dom is home he has decided to stop goin to churhc with us. which upsets the whole family structure. He says he will keep the baby at home to make things easier on me. But Church is for the whole family and I want to take the baby and ry even if its a hassle and takes us 5 hrs to get there. We make it for my primary lesson i have to teach and for the last hour but we cant make it on time to the first hour. which is the most important. ugh!

I think alot has to do with being chewed out by the bishop for being late. everyone in the congregation got it during a sermon months ago and its stuck in my head. If we do make it and were only 20 mins or 30 mins late we sit in my class and listen on the speaker system. Which is nice cuz reagan can crawl all over the room while we listen. But its still not the same. I love to sing in the chapel and in the classrm its just not the same. But we get to church one way or another. pray it gets better for us. :o)

luv you all have to get ot bed cuz the sitter is coming at 730a. and remember I only have her for an hour. lol

My handy work as a seamstress!

2010-07-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

2010-07-10T20:25:00.000-07:00

See daddy, I can crawl!

2010-07-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

Whats been going on in my life, you ask?

2010-07-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

The hardest part about being a mother is being me.

If I complain were not getting out as much, its because of me.
If I whine about not being able to do the things I wanna do, its because Im the only one home with the kids for weeks on end.
If I cry its because Im soooooooooooooooooooooo Tired. I don’t get to bed at a descent hour, we don’t get out of the house in time cuz it takes mom 4ever to shower, dry hair, apply makeup, take vitamins, etc etc etc. Its all my fault. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I asked my mother-in-law to give me a lite, LIGHT, very loose permanent body wave. You know. That really nice tossed around beach hair wave. That nice early 90’s Jennifer Aniston wave. That was another FAIL!
She gave me one of the loosest (not) spiral perms, by her standards, Niicceee and loose. The roots of my hair were so tight and kinked it was horrific. She did it again. Back in 2005, I asked for a loose wave and she gave me a very tight perm. Yuk! I hated it. It looked like I walked outta 1985. If I had friends Im sure they would’ve been sayin, “ Hey, Ron, 1989 called , they want their hair back!!!”
My hair was long healthy and beautiful, I will show you in the next posting what my hair looked b4 and after. It was terrible and soo tight. I was a new mom and I wanted something that would limit my need to stand with curlers rolling an rolling for an hour.
I did it again with baby number 2.
I thought she just might get it right second time around. Needless to say I had to chop all my hair off AFTER attempting to straighten the curls (in 2005 not this time). Which only dried out my hair and made it very slimy. Not a good thing, Martha! NOT … A… Good… Thing!
Perms.
Just Don’t Do It.
So back to my story. I asked for another loose wave and again it came out tight. And Its too loose at the ends, the curls arent consistent so it looks like Rhyan rolled my hair with curlers. There are completely straight strands and next to that there are extremely tight curly strands.
Whatha!
So if I don’t curl my hair (which I wanted to avoid) I look like trash. I wanted to eliminate my need for all this fuss and I just dug my troubles deeper. So this is why it takes us sooooo long to get outta the house and arrive anywhere !!!!!!

On another note: For the past few months , who am I kidding, for years I’ve had this thing about tags. I cant stand them. I’ve always been too intimidated to cut them off. Thinking they hold extremely important secrets. Information that hold the key to unlocking the whereabouts of the weapons of mass destruction. NOT.
But really I have always been neurotic and think you never ever tear or cut off tags off anykind.
My parents never worried about things like this so I figured it wasn’t important.
That is, if it bothers you, take care if it ASAP.
So all 33 yrs of my life I tried to ignore this pet peeve. I will hold back no longer. Haha! I started cutting tags off clothing and furniture and such for over 6 months now. Its so liberating. Lol. Really it is.

I cant stand when the items get old and there sitting, staring at you, that faded, frayed, hideous looking TAG. Yucky tags no more if I can help it. Whoohoo! Three cheers for OCD people everywhere…
Hip Hip….., Hip Hip…., Hip Hip….!

On another, ‘nother note:
Got up at 6am this morning, took a shower (I live on the edge), COOKED BREAKFAST (can you believe it), put myself together and got out the door at 830 for grocery shopping in the crazy town. If your not at the store here shopping and ready for checkout by 10am. Forget it! Your stuck in a whole lotta mess. People from miles and miles around come to this border town to shop for everything. From eggs and milk to hay and oxyacetylene (arc welding gas). It’s a disaster in this town come EVERY Saturday! More so come the first and the 15th of the every month.

Breakfast in our house has been absent since b4 the baby was born. All we eat is cold cereal. Nomore pancakes, French toast, eggs, oatmeal, toast, coffee, juice, fresh fruit. I just don’t have the time. Its easiest to take the 3 minutes to pour into a bowl and be on our way. Really Reagan cries that much.

So this morning when I said I cooked breakfast I really over did. Although I wanted to do something nice for Rhyan I didn’t go all the way outta my way and make homemade pancakes from scratch, which she loves. I get annoyed with having to whisk the egg whites until peaks form and then fold into batter. That’s the most time consuming part about it. So I only made French toast. Now she loves them. But this morning I made the mistake of telling her there made with egg.
She hates eggs.
We’ve progressed within the past few years, her dad got her to eat boiled eggs.
But scrambled, the easiest for me to prepare, she despises ‘em.
So… she jumps outta bed and smells food. I tell her I made breakfast and she jumps for joy. She sits down to eat turkey bacon and her French toast with syrup. She’s scarfing it all down when I let out that lil bit of info that Ive so deceitfully concealed for years.
She freezes, stares at the plate and looks at her food as if Im feeding her cow intestines. DOH! She inspects every lil piece and said I used too much egg and she begins to gag. FAIL!
I messed up big time.

So in addition to my oatmeal, I’m eating French toast. ( I made so many this morning thinking for the rest of the weekend and into next week I would be able to pop em in the toaster. Well that’s not gonna work now. Its all goin in the trash. Not like I can freeze em and Dom or myself will eat em later. Dom wont eat em cuz there senseless carbs and I cant because Im already overweight and might as well be eating candy bars.)
*sigh*
Another atempt to be a good mom and I fail badly >:o(

I Love I love I luuuv videocameras. sigh

2010-07-02T23:41:00.000-07:00

Ry age 3. We planned our Easter trip for Casa Grande. We were sooo busy this week and I wanted to have Ry color eggs b4 we left. I knew the chance wouldnt come while in Casa Grande. So after I packed our bags, 10pm mind u, we colored eggs with her. A tradition we have set aside for just the 3 of us. Ahhh! Family time. So we finished up and tried to convince her to get to bed for our 7am wake up call. She wanted us to hide the eggs for her in the living room, as usual.

Oh and by the way, the basket was a lil .25 cent bargain from a yardsale that she was in Love with at the time. To this day she still loves to place her babies (junk I call it) in cozy blankets (washclothes) and tote them around. lol. I miss these times. Now my girl is gettin so much older. Whah Whah! Just imagine this blog in 1 yrs. boo hoo. Now, im really gonna cry.

Pursehead, May 2008 age 4

2010-07-02T23:33:00.000-07:00

***NOTE: SCROLL DOWN, pause music player at bottom of page.*** Don't ask, just enjoy! lol

Ballet class age 3 yrs old

2010-07-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

I found all these old clips and took a trip down memory lane. LOL! This is too funny. "I say cheese to dadd!" she says annoyed with mommy. This after I asked her to say cheese to the camera. To this day Im still getting yelled at. :0P

GRAMA 'SHELL

2010-07-02T22:57:00.000-07:00

***NOTE: remember you have to scroll down to pause the playlist player.*** THis is a "thank you" video I forgot to post months ago. I found it and just had to put it up for all to see, esp. Gamma Michele! Enjoy. FYI: my house was a mess. we were tryin to repack Halloween items for attic storage. And I had not taken out the props we used for the Kiddie Halloween party. so thats why the house looks soooo junky!

For Daddy....Stay safe in lil town, AZ

2010-07-02T22:38:00.000-07:00

SORRY!
YOU HAVE TO SCROLL ALL THE WAY DOWN TO BOTTOM OF PAGE TO MUTE OR PAUSE THE MUSICPLAYER. THEN..... YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LISTEN TO THE GIRLS.

BTW: ITS A HORRIBLE RECORDING. NEXT VIDEO I PROMISE TO TURN THE LIGHTS ON BRIGHTER. OOPS!

Jukebox Dancing: Linedance "Hucklebuck"

2010-06-30T17:26:00.000-07:00

Baby Fever

2010-06-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

Im a Bump-aholic! I cant wait to have another baby. lol

All my complaining thus far, I cant wait until we're blessed with another. If it never happens Im okay with that. But why not give it a try, right! The world needs another full-blooded nava-joe bebe! teehee

There's this movie Ive been watching on HBO and its hilarious!
"Away We Go"
its one of those B-rated movies. I love B-rated movies that never make it to the theatre. Im not your typical consumer who needs to purchase movies on DVD, VHS, or BLu-ray. I actually think its a waste. But there are 2 movies I have to get, just absolutely have! "Motherhood" starring Uma Thurman - Hilarious! and "Away We Go"! Both are films touching on the ups and downs of parenting. I just love em. TWO THUMBS UP!

I also love Turner Classic Movie Channel. Rhy and I love black and white films. *screaming* Really, we love em so much. We've been watching alot of great movies lately. A few days ago we headed to Blockbuster and rented all old movies. Mostly, Disney. We watched
- Black Beauty
- Pinocchio
- Lion King
- Parent Trap (orginal)
and one other but i cant recall right now.

We love musicals. She has grown very fond of them. *smiling*
We dance around singing the songs and fantasizing in our lil make believe worlde. Its great really. The outside world doesnt matter and we veg all day. Spectacular. you should try. ;o)

Its such a cliche but Ive always loved Barbara Streisand musicals. Love em to death. Cant get enough.

On a sidenote: Limiting TV has really brought the family close together and we listen to Light classical almost all day long. Or alot of children's sing-a-long tunes. Fun times!

But I do have to admit, I feel much like a hypocrite, when the kids are asleep I sneak in some TV time. I feel like a crack addict. I hide my addiction. I watch hours of endless nonsense on the boobtube after everyones asleep. lol. Really Im addicted and I dont want Rhy to be the same as an adult.

So I have to nip it in the bud!

Hope u all are having fun times with the family, enjoy!

Three Stooges: Curly's Sweater

2010-06-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

Mom & Ry helpin reagan with sweater. lol!!!!!!!!

Dom says were the 3 stooges. This coment comes after he witnesses me screamin at ry.
enjoy :o)

Reagan 6 month and 18 days old

2010-06-28T12:27:00.000-07:00

Another cute mug from my phone. it doesnt do her justice but you get the idea. ugh! reagans trying to eat the keyboard as I type this.

2010-06-28T12:09:00.000-07:00

Tired of trying to find something pretty to fit reagan and have it thin enough for hot sumer days in an infant carseat.... I decided to make my own baby dress. Im attempting to read a SIMPLICITY sewing pattern. Its hard. Ive tried years back and have no idea what the jargon means. So that has stone walled me from ever attempting it again. Im scared and intimidated by sewing patterns. lol

Ive figured it was always easier for others and I have never had anyone show me or educate me on proper "adult" usage of a sewing machine. My mom bought me a machine years ago, or gave me her old one. Then Rhy broke the plastic stick thingy that holds the thread spool so I couldnt use it for a while. Then one day I got the sewing itch. I tried to superglue the plastic spool holder back on, even ducktape it. No such luck. Didnt work.

THen My ma heard bout my troubles, came across a bargain at Walmart and purchased a brand new one ALL FOR ME! YAhoo. Remember my story about hand-me-downs. This was new and never used by anyone else. I felt sooo special. lol.

So Since that time Ive been trying to use it here and there. But just this pass Friday and Saturday I sewed my very first professional looking dress (well as profesh as a middle eastern child laborer can sew). Ouch! I know not funny.
This one had no seams sticking out. All the seams were tucked away like they should be and no loose thread ends or fraying were showing through. yahoo! three cheers for all "thumbs" girlies everywhere.

I'm not your typical girly girl. No one showed me how to cook, put make-up on, sew a dress, etc etc. I learned all this myself. Now credit to my ma. She did try when I was younger before the divorce but who remembers things like that when their 8 yrs old or 10 yrs??? surely not me.

So I did aout 3 hrs of research on the internet, thank goodness for the worldwideweb! lol

Learning about all the terms and watching the e-videos on proper techniques. I LEARNED HOW TO SEW AND READ A PATTERN in as lil as 3 hrs. yahoo again! whoohoo!

I will show you all the final project in a few days when the girls are ready to model them. I have to say they came out better than expected. REALLY! better than I EVER expected. lol

Can I cook?

2010-06-28T12:04:00.000-07:00

Now there are people who laugh at me because I cant cook. When I say I cant cook I mean average everyday food.

Im more comfortable cooking a roast or turkey in the oven as opposed to boiling eggs or rice. This is a picture of me attempting to make my sick lil Rhyan white rice. NOw, I can boil brown rice (uncle Ben's) in a bag. But in a saucepan the ole fashion way? nope! and heres proof.

to my credit... i have the whole boiled egg thing down. its been about a year now. lol

Babyfood

2010-06-28T12:00:00.000-07:00

Trying my hand at homemade babyfod. Although, this dish is only given to 12 month olds, mac'chz with broccoli, its suppose to be yummy for everyone. It looked sooo yummy online, i had to try it. HAvent had free time to try until DC came home from South Fork Fire. So gave it a whirl on Sunday and it was yum-o!

Just hope Reagan thinks so when shes a yr old. lol

Cute candids

2010-06-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Just a cute picture of the girls during lunchtime!

Once a time ago....

2010-06-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hey Ms. Toni, is this the older gentleman that used to live at our apartment complex?

"Emo", Emmanuelle Laurence.I never knew his name. I talked with him on several occasions and he did introduce himself. But me, I never can remember names at a first time introduction.

I saw this photo in the paper. It was in memory of him for fathers day. It noted that he had passed in March 2010.

If its the same guy that used to live in the corner apt. Im shocked.
He was always a kind person. I liked him. He reminded me of my dad.

Sad really.

2010-06-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

My Baby Ostrich.

Remember I mentioned Reagan likes to bury her head in the high chair. Shes most fascinated with the high chair liner and the belts. She can sit like this for 20 - 30 mins. lol
Whata weirdo! tee hee

day out with mom

2010-06-17T16:47:00.001-07:00

The girls grocery shopping with me. Red meat on sale at Safeway. Notice the chubby girl is sitting solo in the front of shopping cart!

2010-06-17T16:39:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe this cute face is a pain in the neck, right! *giggle*

Valley Fresh Steamers

2010-06-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

Okay remember I mentioned, either yestrday or the day b4, that I was losing my mind!

Have you ever tried those Green Giant Valley Fresh Steamers? pop 'em in the microwave for 5 minutes and whallah! side dish ready in minutes. Well someone introduced them to me and I havent looked back. There very simple especially when you have a chubby 28 lb baby on your hip.

The first nite DC was gone I threw one in the microwave for dinner. Now let me tell you how dinner time goes around our house. I rush around trying to throw something together. Which usually consists of frozen chicken strips, veggie stix, and a quik salad from a bag. Toss a hand full on each of the paper plates, pour on some dressing, if the families lucky... I cut up more salad garnishments. If not, thats all they get. Some greens straight from the bag, more veggie sticks, cut up fruit and the chk strips. We eat this 99% of the time. DC hates it but he'll starve if he doesnt.

The family is just lucky they get food at night. Really!
When you have a stubborn, finicky, cry baby like Reagan as your child and between 5 and 6pm is her bedtime prep, u do whatever you can to keep her from screaming anymore for the day. By 5 pm I usually have a migraine the size of the reservation. ha ha ha.

A few weeks ago, one stressless evening, I decided to whip up a fresh homemade meal. We all ate and couldnt believe our tummies. Full to the max. First thing Dom said, "OH MAN, feels good to eat real food again." If that didnt sum it up I dont know what else would.

So back to my story. With DC gone its hard to get anything accomplished with Reagan. So I rushed around trying to get dinner on the table and forgot I put the valley fresh steamer in the microwave. Today Rhyan wanted leftover chicken. I opened the microwave and tahdah, stinky valley fresh bag sittin there staring at me.

Gross thing, besides the smell, it was 10 days ago that I nuked it! Blah! yuk!

(Excuse me, the babies screaming I have to go!)

shhh dont tell that im propping up the bottle of milk.

2010-06-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

baby taken care of, check!

So as I was saying about friends. I had just limited my contact with crackbook friends, as ms toni puts it.

I wanted to delete my account but I just cant do it. Theres this network of people at Wholesome babyfood.com that I love. You can do live chat with other ma's that make their own baby food. But inorder to be apart of this e-community I have to stay connected to facebook. ugh!

So, like I told you,I deleted most of the friend contacts. and wham I get hit with 5 new people wanting to be frends. blah!

I left high school and never wanted to look back and now all these people are tryin to reconnect. About what? I have nothing in common with them. When I have friends I like to live by the motto... quality is better than quantity. and some of these people have like 180, 200, 89 friend contacts. Who does that? more importantly, WHY? I wanna be incontact with people I truly am interested in, not who went where and who's going back to the reservation for a weekend visit.

I'm all about diaper rashes, latest baby purees, laundry folding and grocery shopping mishaps. These people have nothing in common with me. Why? and I end up looking like the mean person when I want to deny them a e-hook up of sorts.

Maybe I should tell everyone Im LDS. Mormon, if you will. that'll scare everyone and then maybe they'll leave me alone. LOL !!!!!!!!!!!!

You gotta fren'd in me

2010-06-16T22:19:00.000-07:00

I love this blogsite. I really do. I have a chance to vent and air all my dirty laundry. lol.

I have no friends- so this allows me to talk about what been on my mind. Really I have no one I talk to on a daily basis. The people I truly considered my friends have moved away, lost contact with me, or are too busy working to chat.

The only person I talk to on a daily basis is, let me correct that - the only adult I talk to on a daily basis, is my hubby.

My ma is busy and I get, maybe, 5 minutes to say something in a 7 day period. My dad is busy with life and visits and calls, if Im lucky, 5 times a year. And usually only calls or visits so he can bicker about his family. such a tedious task - to have to listen to him.

And my one and only best friend in the whole wide world - hazel- has seemed to forgotten my phone number, my name, that I have a pulse. lol

Sad really when you lose touch with people you really cared about. She and I met in 1997 and we inseparable from that time on. Until I got married in 2005. Then it slowly went from few visits a year to few phone calls a year. To nothing! nada!

Dont ask me what happened - cuz im still trying to figure it out.

I do have to say I have one great friend that I know still cares about me. And thats MS. Toni. She still gives me shout outs all the way from Pennsylvania. Thanks lady for always reading and staying in touch with me. BTW: I love to read your blog. Keep the recipes coming. Although I never try them I always imagine myself standing in the kitchen - whippin up a batch of ms toni's somethings! lol

I do have to give u credit for droppin me that mozarella chz stick recipe. To this day I still make em. I never would've thunk u could make em from such simple ingredients. Ry loves em to death. me too!

baby cryin - gotta go. big hugs lov u all.

and happy belated birthday to all you readers. Auntie Lechele I wanted to send an email and never did it. But HAPPY BIRTHDAY and HAPPY BIRTHDAY Gamma MIchele!

SCRABBLE WAR!!!

2010-06-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

Okay! Now this is just ree-donk-cue-less, as Donkey would put it (reference to Shrek movies, for those of u that didnt get it)!After we finish the game I mentioned to her we could go to the store and buy another game, pictionary. Needless to say, she couldnt wait for the game to be over.....

Silly really. As you guys know I had suggested we buy a Scrabble jr game board in hopes to get Ry better at spelling. Well, I bought it yesterday and couldnt wait to show her how to play. Reagan went down for her nap at 11:30a and it took me 5minutes to explain the rules to Ry. By, 12 noon we were off and playing. By 12:30p she had whooped my butt terribly. 62 to 25! Do I need to tell you who was twenty-five. argh!

She spanked me bad! She got Double word and Double letter score on several turns. All the 4 and five letter words are her creation. Sadly, and pitifully I report I'm the two and three letter word creator. Sad, really, Just SAD! embarrasing... pitiful.

Whatha?

She jumps up and says, "CAN WE GO NOW!"

My jaw still on the floor.

Wait, what jus happ'nd? Uh, wait .. uh...I bought this thinking it would take her forever to learn to play. Boy was I sadly mistaken. on to the next task mommy! lol

grocery shopping with kids

2010-06-16T10:56:00.000-07:00

havent checked in, in a while! sorry. As you may have quessed, DC is on a fire assignment in north central NM! Prior to that he was in Heber, AZ and then Alpine,AZ. He has been away since the 8th. And He will possibly be gone on Fathers day. Boo hOo. But having a lil more cash around has been nice. Fire season always brings more overtime. All year we go without alot of "wants", come fire season, although I nag about him being gone, I really enjoy having an extra $20 in my purse to spend at our leisure. Such as $3 flowers to replant in a pot, $5 fabric paint for crafts, $5 garden ornaments, $9 kiddie toys, etc. etc. SO yes its been okay.

Reagan is so fascinated with the seat buckles in her high chair. She spends more time with her head down trying to grab 'em. Every few minutes we look over to see her head buried like an ostrich! lol
Yesterday, Rhyan and I bought Reagan her first "big" girl toy. A piano recommended for infants 6+ of age. tee hee. she enjoys it. But of course she enjoys sucking on tupperware lids and chewing on her spoons more! go Figure!
She rocks back and forth on her knees and hands. Soon, she'll be off! hurray, NOT!
She has graduated to carrots. Doc says its ok to introduce meat to her, as long as I place in food processor first! well of course doc. No! Im gonna throw her a hunk of steak and let her gnaw on it. Yeah, cuz thats how I like to torture my kids.

Rhyan is happy with piano lessons and girls scouts and reading. I dont have much more time than that. How we're gonna fit in swim lessons in 2 weeks I hav no clue. Im sadistic! I like to tortue myself. cant you tell. I had children didnt I? lol

Life is good.

You wanna know how absentminded I am!!!!

Yesterday we went grocery shopin. I had to return a box of Rice Krispy cereal becuz when I initially purchased it - the bag inside was open.

Soooo, I take it back to cust svc counter at Wallie world. She tells me to grab another box to exchange. I say yes, I have more items to grab and Ill be about 2 hrs. So by the end of the 2 hrs, after checkout, im frazzled and tired. I forget. I went thru the line and paid for the new box without remembering I was suppose to exchange it. Duh! So I dont remember about the cereal at cust svc desk until 5 hrs later. I call and say Ill be by later this evening after girl scouts. yeah, cuz the walmart lady really wants to know what my plans are. lol. So I get the kids to bed, finish cleaning, brush teeth, and lay down, realizing its 12 am midnite and I have yet to return to walmart to exchange my box and get a refund for the second one I didnt need to pay for. Double DOH! ARGH!!!!!!!!! Im losing my mind. You cant help but laugh! =}

Reagan one week ago

2010-06-12T22:03:00.000-07:00

Isnt this kid gettin bigger and bigger.

Shes a husky lil gal. She weighs 18.5lbs and measures 28 inches long.

Shes a freak of nature, according to onlookers - who find it necessary to chime in on my daughters "huskiness", as I like to call it.

The Nurse practitioner suggested a diet of sorts if Reagan doesnt slow down on her weight gain by month 9. Poor Rea Rea (ray ray)!

She loves to eat. She has no patience. She screams from the top of her highest pitch when the spoon leaves her mouth on another journey to pik up more food from bowl. She doesnt understand that the food doesnt come directly from the spoon. lol

Rhyan has been busy and mommies much happier these days.

Rhyan has been occupied with girlscouts, piano lessons, and playdates. And we have yet to begin swim lessons or regular visits to library nor have we started with the daily craft activities the city provides. *sigh*

So much to do. I dont think I'll have much more time to help her study this summer. Ive decided to pick up scrabble JR. (another great idea from a another ma)to help her with her spelling. We plan on reading 100 books this summer, is that much or not enough?

I have found the Caldecott and Newberry sites and have proposed to keep her up-to-date on the latest and greatest awarded authors. YEah, for me right ms toni. Ms toni is a "retired" teacher and always has great ideas. She's also an english geek and book worm, so its always neat to pik her brain. =]

baby crying... to be cont'd!

2010-06-06T22:02:00.000-07:00

I really thought I was alright Today. We returned from ABQ after a sleepover at the zoo. WHich was absolutely amazing! I had a blast. Wished I could have let Rhyan enjoy it more and not ride her as hard as I did. But its me, who we kidding?!

So that give you an idea of how our night went on saturday. It doesnt need to be said but Rhyan was EXTREMELY TIRED!

She had the biggest meltdown beginning at 10pm. Now, all 1,000 girls were still going full speed at 11:00pm. So it was hard to control her. She wanted to be apart of all the festivities, even if it was a small part like playin freeze tag with other troops. It was so adorable how friendly my lil girl was with making new friends. I set out a throw for the 5 girls in our troop to watch Happy Feet on the lawn. I go to sit and eat my dinner with them and theres no space for me. In the dark, I look closely at the faces and realize we have strangers sittin with us. Rhyan made friends with a troop from Los Lunas, shared her snacks with 'em, and invited them to sit with HER. Not us, HER! All the while, kicking her fellow girl scout troop of to the moist grass. DOH! Well atleast shes trying, we have to work on the other part. lol.

Shes running around, laughing and screaming very loudly. She's putting herself in a bad position. She's gonna rip someones tent. trip over tent stakes. Run into another kid and split open her head. or at the most get an extremely painful headache. So IM grinding my teeth and grunting out in a moderately stern tone,"Rhyan cut it out, settle down, stop it, no more, no more, settle down, stop, stop, come here, come here now!" Does she comprehend any of this.

And this goes on for 15 - 20 minutes.

Im losing my patience quick, not to mention Im so tired.

Then....

She falls into our tent. I hear a very distint crack!
Its the tent poles and Im freaking out. First wondering about how severe the damage is to our tent and can we still sleep in it.
Then, I worry if she has scraped her leg or cut her foot?
What a terrible mom, right!

So the tent wasnt damaged but that was the straw that broke the camels back. UGH!

I quickly grab her by her upper arm fiercely, drag her off, while she screams,"no, ouch, that hurts, stop it, dont pinch me!"

Im seeing red and gettin more and more embarassed.

I end up squeezing her nose, pinching and yanking more and Im ready to lose it. Were away from the tents now and standing off in the dark. While I wring her out.

THat was the first incident. There were a few more that ended with the biggest one at 12:15am. Yes, shes still up at this time. Now since the first one she has been locked up with her friend, Sam, in the tent. talking to the other girls through the mesh screen.

So she gets outta hand I tell her calmly I need to set some rules and she needs to leave the tent with me. To go talk. Now, on the trip over earlier in the day I versed her in the rules. But when she gets around other girls, laughs and begins to have fun - she loses focus and goes bonkers! Absolutley BONKERS! and it drives me INSANE!

I cant handle it. Im like a werewolf during a fullmoon... I morph into Joan Crawford, and rather scream, "CHRISTINA", I growl loudly, " RHYAN"!!!!!!!!!!

I hate it when I do that. I cant turn that off the minute Im in a full blown freak out. Until after I realize how severe my behaviour was and I have such guilt. I cry and make myself sick thinking about how I looked to onlookers and mainly how this affected Rhyan. It makes me sick. Im not one of those moms that carry themselves with dignity. But I sure wish I was.

Now, b4 you say its the stress of being a new mom to a 6 month old. Ive done this mutliple times b4 Reagan was conceived. I started when Rhy was just a toddler. Its aweful. THis is what I mean when I refer to myself as a horrific mother. MAybe motherhood doesnt agree with me. I always thought I was the motherly type, but I have to try hard at it. IT rough, REAL rough.

So she says over and over to me at midnite somthing to the effect:
1. I cant do anything right
2. I always mess things up
3. Daddy's the only one that loves me
4. You dont love me, you hate me,
5. YOu think Im ugly, im not beautiful, Im dumb.
6. I dont know anything
and more and more just like these comments

At this moment I realize Ive road her hard today and shes spent. SPENT!

I know right now that the last thing she needs from me is more yelling. So I say (in a not so behaved "mother" way), theres plenty of moms her. go. go pick another one. you obviously dont want me to be your mom anymore. Then DOm not being there, still saved the day. He called at that very moment, spoke to rhy calming her down. She gives the phone back and says to me,
" mom im tired and my legs hurt, can i have some medicine".

DOne.
she was ready for bed. I took that opportunity and ran with it. We went back . I cuddled her more. calmly told her to settle down and get to bed.

She was asleep within 2 mins. Man, I was SPENT!

Did I sleep well that night? nope. But again I realized
1. how bad of a mom I am.
2. How much im not paying attention to Rhyan
3. how impatient and angered I am by her not being perfect, and just wanting to act like a lil kid. I know, shes 6 and she doesnt want to sit still. Go figure!

So Im home, everynes asleep and at 11pm tonight I realize Im not OKAY!
I need to cry, feel the biggest urge coming outta nowhere. And I break down. I feel the need to get on the blog and post my feelings. so thats what Im doing.

uh oh! I hear the baby. c ya

facebook, oops!

2010-06-02T23:07:00.001-07:00

Rhyan and I made gelatin gigglers today!

It was so cool. Ive never made them b4. Ive always wanted to try but never had patience to read instructions or look for a recipe. We used her Elmo Sesame Street Cookbook she received from her cousin. We used pomegranate juice and blueberries with the unflavored gelatin packets. It didnt taste good, i thought. But Rhy loved them. Too salty. Maybe the salt taste came from the nonstick olive oil cooking spray. The recipe said to spray so the gigglers are easiest to remove from pan when its lubricated.

I slept from 4p to 9pm this evening. It was awesome. Baby slept with me. She had trouble at first but wore out from all the fussing. She was awake all day, as usual. She did so great the other 2 days and today, not so much. Its 12 midnight and I hope she sleeps the entire night. My luck she'll get up at 5am bright eyed and bushy "hair". =}

Cheer Camp goin well this week, its only 4 days long. Girl Scout camp out is coming up on saturday. Gamma Cille will be here sat morning to watch the chunkey girl while the skinny girl and I drive to abq. I didnt give it much thought, but now Im nervous about leaving the baby. DC is suppose to be here with the baby and gamma. I think I'll be the one that has separation anxiety.

Ms. Toni we would love to be penpals with TJ. I have yet to mail off his package of goodies. It'll happen soon I promise. Rhyan started an email acct and has sent you a message. If you receive, please confirm with a reply. Thanks! By the way, How many siblings do you have.

Dry as ever here in smalltown, NM. We need rain. Two big fires broke, one, in southern AZ, and the other in Santa Fe. All the Southwest type 1 crews were at the Horseshoe fire including DC's IHC crew. But as of today they were released, when they return - if the Santa FE fire blows up (gets outta hand) and his Crew is committed, he TOO will leave with 'em. Boo HOO!

DC bought me my very own sleeping bag today for the campout. YAhoo! My very first EVER! Yes, really! hard to believe I know, but ive always had handme downs from my older brother. So you can imagine the excitement! After everyone went to sleep I removed it from its pouch - unrolled - and climbed in! AWE! that was nice. I relaxed and made myself comfy, almost falling asleep on living rm flr. What a goober, right?! =] have a great day 2moro. I know Ill definitely try.

HIndsight: I told DC what I did with the facebook acct and he said big mistake. It was very rude. YOu think so? whatcha think. email me at rlgishi@msn.com

PROACTIV works...

2010-06-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

when you use it. Its difficult to use everyday in a 3 step process that takes all of 10 or 15mins to wash my face.

I just dont have that time to be away from the kids.

Reagan loves to eat. Ive tried my hand at homemade baby food and Im quite proud of myself. DC and I love it and So DOES REAGAN. Have this book that my sister-in-law gave me 6 yrs ago. Never had the opportunity to use recipes in it for Ry. Rhyan never liked baby food and ate only applesauce 24/7 ,365 days for 3 yrs. Until the day we drove thru the McD's food to go window! oops!

SO IM making baby food purees and I have also found this awesome site on the web, wholesome baby food dot com. I think thats the address. I will link it to my blog.

Im afraid of SIDS and WHooping COugh!

NOthing more depressing than the moment you take notice that you ARE DEPRESSED. That moment came when I looked at the time (1:37am) and my regular shows have stopped showing and the tv network has turned its time over to INFOMERCIALS! yuk! blah!

goodnite!

no one is jumping off the deep end

2010-06-02T00:10:00.001-07:00

okay, okay. Before u all start to worry Im going off the deep end. HOld UP!

Im performing an "upchuck", if you will, of everything that is nonsense. I have noticed that I have too many outwardly influences molding an unhealthy way of thinking. TV, movies, envy of REAL people I know, as opposed to tv celebrity peeps!

Yeah its nonsense to cut real people outta my life but If I find myself not having healthy thoughts about them and how they influence me - then I need to take a break from them - or it all. Envy is one root of evil that lurks in our lives. I have found myself depressed b/c im COMPARING myself to these other peeps. Im obsessed with what their doing, what their thinking, where their going... and I say why am i not doing that, why cant I go there, and why cant I be more positive and happy like them. And Im missing the whole picture = MY FAMILY!

I have priorities here that are being ignored. Yes im present with my family but im not emotionally connecting with them. I run the everyday like a robot and my finish line I look fwd to everyday is bedtime. ITs my first thought when I wake up, right before I hit the snooze button and jump in the shower.

"What do I have to endure before I can put these kids back to sleep and not look around the house and see all that HAS TO BE DONE."

honestly, i try to stay away from the house as much as possible. lol. because when Im away, theres no constant reminder that the carpet needs cleaning, the laundry is piling up again, the baby needs diapers, the rash is coming back, rhy is talking improper english, DC hasnt cleaned up his side of the closet, what do I fix for dinner, Im still havent started to lose weight, Im running to the pantry again to find chocolate or another diet soda, My neighbor is still grumpy with me, my brother and I havent spoken in almost a year (or has it been longer than a year), i havent hugged my niece and nephew in that same amt of time, I miss ole friends and I dont know what I did to lose their friendship, my father has another family and the list goes on and on and on and on............................

These are a bit of what im dealing with. I know everyone has probs but this is my case and that was me telling you, " oh by the way FYI!"

have a nice day. have any suggestions, email rlgishi@msn.com

Sleep, oh what a feeling!

2010-06-01T23:38:00.000-07:00

She sleeps! I couldnt be happier to report that Reagan has been sleeping for three days now. AHHHH! What relief for me. Im able to rest in the day now. Life is great!

Just dont realize how precious rest is until you arent able to get it.

Say an awareness ad for whooping cough! AWE!!!!!!!! scary. not good for a neurotic mom like me to see. lol.

Im so irritated by the whole facebook thing. I just cleaned house and possibly will delete my facebook account.

I deleted about 20 friends from having facebook access to what I write. Im all about the privacy now. Atleast to the people I know wont understand me.

I have diverted bak to my ole ways and my ole way of thinking. Im tired of trying to live the way I think Im suppose to be as a "mother". I have loss myself in all the mix thus I feel like I have to limit my contact with everyone new in my life. Inorder to channel my ole self. Silly, but thats what I think is good for now. Maybe im limiting myself and may fall deeper into a depressed state - only time will tell.

YOu know what makes me sick. To look at my walls and think that I HAVE TO GET PROFESSIONAL PORTraits of my family. BUY expensive frames to display these picts and place them just right on the wall. to parade for the whole world (atleast the portion of the world that comes thru my front door). lol. Really its an epidemic - spending unnecessarily really!

So Any of you facebookers that I deleted - that read my blog - sorry! Really I am but i just had to get rid of it all. Its making me depressed. Someone wants to be your "friend" but doesnt send you a message for like, oh say, months. Yea right! what a friend. So rather than pick and choose who to keep and who to drop... I dropped everyone! or a nicer way to say it... I deleted them all. Saying I dropped them makes it sound as if I hate these people. WHICH IS SOOOO NOT THE CASE!

BE PATIENT WITH ME: IM HAVING A ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW! =}

Mother Reclassified

2010-05-29T23:18:00.000-07:00

I read this in an email someone sent me and had to share with you mom's out there!

A woman renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office was asked
by the woman recorder to state her occupation. Emily had hesitated,
uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job, or are you
just a .....?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother."

"We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the
recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same
situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career
woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high - sounding title like
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."

"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out.

"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human
Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though
she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most
significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your
field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I
have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the
laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four
credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in
the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a
day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-
the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just
money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was
greeted by my lab assistants - ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our
new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program, testing
out a new vocal pattern.

I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the
official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind
than "just another mother."

Motherhood...what a glorious career. Especially when there's a title on the
door.

Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research Associates in the Field of
Child Development and Human Relations", and great - grandmothers "Executive
Senior Research Associates"? I think so!

I also think it makes aunts "Associate Research Assistants!"

Recipe for a Good Life

2010-05-29T23:13:00.000-07:00

Saw this is on another bloggers site and thought it worth sharing!

* Don't have negative thoughts about things you can't control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
* Spend time with people over seventy and children under six.
* Life is to short to waste it hating anyone.
* Take a 10 to 30 minute walk a day and while you walk, smile.
* Sit in silence at least ten minutes a day.
* Sleep seven hours a night.
* Live with the tree E's, energy, enthusiasm, and empathy.
* Play more games.
* Read more books than you did last year.
* Drink plenty of water.
* Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and less foods that are manufactured in plants.
* Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a begger.
* Make time to meditate and to pray. They provide the daily fuel for our lives.
* Dream more while your awake.
* Smile, giggle, and laugh more often.
* Try to make at least three people smile every day.
* Don't waste precious energy on gossip.

* Don't take youself so seriously. No one else does.
* Forget issues of the past. Don't constantly remind your partner of his or her mistakes. This will ruin your present happiness.
* Realize that life is a school and we are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away, like an alegebra class, but the lessons you learn last a life time.
* You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
* Don't compare your self to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
* Make peace with your past so it doesn't spoil your present.
* Your job won't take care of you when you are sick but your friends will stay in touch.
* Forgive everyone for everything.
* What other people think of you is none of your business.
* Get rid of everything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
* However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
* Envy is a waste of time.
* You already have all that you need.
* The best is yet to come.
* No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
* Don't over do. Know your limits.
* Your inner self is always happy so be happy.
* Do the right thing.
* Call your family often.
* Each day give something good to others.

"Before I Was A Mom" Poem

2010-05-29T23:11:00.000-07:00

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night .

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep .

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom .

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy .

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

Author: Unknown

2010-05-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

One last thing...
It is adorable to listen to Rhyan talk about her big day today. She boasted to her dad about creating her own email acct on the internet. How she typed all the info herself and how she sent to messages to mommy and ms. toni.

It was the funniest to hear her throw the jargon 'round.

"daddy Im on email now, huh mom, I sent them all by myself"

"I blogged and posted on my internet"

............lol...........

"Can I get my own computer now, daddy, can I?"

uh oh! what have I done? ! ?

2010-05-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

Girl Scout camp out is coming up next weekend. We are off to ABQ to camp at the zoo. The troop earns a badge for conservation at a zoo camp out learning about animals and the high desert we live in. Ry is so excited. Me too! She has been aching to camp in a tent for 3 yrs now. We havent had to the opportunity to do so until now. And who better to do it with, Ms. KIm and her daughter Sam. There are 20 or so girls in the troop but only 5 will be going to ABQ. Of course, were expressing to Ry how privileged she is to be participating in this event. I dont want her to take these opportunites for granted. I think she finally gets it. She expressed how concerned she was about the other girls who werent attending.

When she spoke with her other lil Daisy friends, she learned they werent attending because their parents were unable to pay for the trip and fees. A pretty hefty fee I say for a 6 yr old to participate in. But we did. Were so lucky we can give her these opportunities. She'll learn something important about conservation and how it saves the earth. And especially important, that there is an entire world beyound
G-town.

NO more Filtering

2010-05-29T22:02:00.000-07:00

Ive held back in my posts. Always.
But now Im have no time to sugarcoat anything I type. this is me, raw, from here on out! Dont like it? Dont read.

I seriously have no time to be sweet and pretend Im this happy, nice, caring person. Im really a very vile, depressed, cynical, pessimistic, married mother of 2.

Im going thru a midlife crisis. I didnt know what Ive been feeling until recently I devulged everything to my hubby. He was quite and listened. very nice. Too quite. When I asked him to respond to anything I was saying and help me out. Because I felt loss in my life. He replied that I was going through a midlife Crisis.

P.S. I try not to put Reagan in her carseat to sleep. In the pass 4 months, she has had these "episodes". Right before falling into a deep sleep, buckled in her carseat, suckling on the bottle, she begins to shake. It lasts for 5 seconds at the most. The first 2 I didnt think much at first but there continuing to happen. Its worrying me. I think they may be seizures. Ive been telling family but it seems they dont believe. The have always thought me to be a dramatic person and chalk this one up to another incident. But RHyan out of school, witnessed it today. I told her to watch and she then expressed concern to her dad. He then believed me. SO come Tuesday Im gonna bring it to my peds attention. Another thing to stress about!

I just pray she okay. and that theres nothing to be alarmed about.

More Rambles from a mother of an Infant

2010-05-29T21:50:00.001-07:00

Reagan cries all day long. If Im not holding her, she’s mad about something. I can keep her happy for the most part until its time for a nap. Now a baby her age should be awake 2 hours playfully alert. Then want to nap. But not her. She doesn’t sleep at all during the day. She takes many powernaps. They last any where from 20 minutes to 50 minutes. The only way I can get her to sleep long periods of time is in the carseat, fastened. I know this isnt wise. But really, when your tired and shes throwing herself back and doesn’t want the bottle. What choice do I have. I HAVE tried letting her cry herself to sleep. And honestly, I dread it. Everyday she screams herself to sleep, if not in the carseat, then in the swing, or in her playard. Ive read the literature and Ive tried it all.

I have tried (like I read) to lie her down for naps, let her cry for up to an hour, checking on her every 5 mins. Let me tell you, this kid can out wait you. She’ll scream for up to 2 hrs full on scream and wont tire. Its stressful. I don’t know what to do. But! The minute I walk in or go to pik her up from her fit, she quites instantly, stops all together, and begins to smile. She’s very easy to calm ONCE you pik her up.

Sometimes I get nervous in the morning before the day begins because I know what my days is gonna be like.

When she does sleep for a quik 15 - 30 minutes, I should snooze too. But I don’t. I try to rush around and pik up things or try to groom myself ( by that I mean shower, brush teeth, put in contact lenses). it’s a great achievement if I can brush my teeth b4 1pm. Gross, right!

I came home tonight wanting to cry because I wanted her to stop with it all. Shes causing me to be so sad. And Im sure she doesnt like it either.

But the time out did me some good. Even if I did feel guilty for going out and doing something for myself I came home relaxed and rested. Although, I didn’t sleep. I was away from a house that had constant noise. Its amazing how much noise makes you stressed and tired. Go figure!

The noise! The noise. The noise. The noise. Ugh!

Rhyan dropped RED jell-o on the carpet in the hallway. I was hiding out in the bedroom. As she walked down the hall, eating her jell-o, to come talk to me, she dropped the bowl. I didn’t hear crying. But I did hear in a very sweet and very sorry voice, “ I didn’t mean to do it.” She said it 3 or 4 times. I could hear her dad getting after her. Now! If that had happened after a long day with the kids … I would have had a full on BLOW OUT! I would have screamed and yelled. Maybe even spanked and sent her to bed crying. ONE MORE THING FOR ME TO CLEAN UP! Is what I would have been screaming. But I could sympathize with that sweet voice and I jumped to defend her. Also because I don’t like anyone disciplining my child but me. Even if its my hubby. (now, make note that DC wasnt yelling. He was only using a stern vquite voice - but still i didnt care for it). So I calmly said to her after she came into the bedroom, “ its allright. Its happens and it can be cleaned up.”

I thing my hubby was surprised I wasn’t P-O’d.

So for that one second in her day, I was sane, rational, and responded appropriately to a 6 yr olds accident. The look in her eyes, said she was thankfu mommy didnt freak out. Sometimes I think IM JOAN CRAWFORD, reincarnated!

That very moment I realized although I felt guilty for leaving the house, the kids, the hubby, my motherly duties…I knew it was GOOD FOR ME. And as someone said… if your good - your that much better for the kids. Mommy needs to be selfish 60 % of the time, within reason. So far, Ive been selfish 0% of the time. That explains why Im such a monster. Or as Ry puts it, “ YOU’RE THE WORSE MOM EVER”.

Were not talking large bodies of water now!

2010-05-29T21:25:00.001-07:00

Sat., May 29th

I constantly remind Rhyan when she’s trying to tell a story and doesn’t give me all the important facts, “BE SPECIFIC!”

Now she’s 6, yes, I know. But I have to know everything that happened when someone tells me a story. That is how controlling I am. And of course it makes the other person mad. I have seriously loss friends because of this vice. So on with the Ry’s story…. I cant recall what we were talking about but she got frustrated with me. Walked away from the dining table to retrieve something from the frig and said to me, without making eye contact, mind you.

“Mom, you have to be PACIFIC. When you tell me to do something you have to be pacific! Udderwise I don’t know what to do. Geeez!”

I looked down in shame and had a slight grin on my face. My daughter had just told me off! She sure put me in my place. I couldn’t make this up. Its all true. Lol.

Sat., May 29th

2010-05-29T21:16:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May29th.

When I leave the house for an evening - to do something for myself, I come home to a home that makes me feel guilty. It may be in my head but that’s how I feel. DC goes hunting, goes to work, goes to his parents, goes out to have fun with cousins and family (without us) and doesn’t have the slightest bit of guilt. Me? Forget it, I’m a mess for hours afterwards.

I am with the kids all day long worrying about them. Are they getting enough vitamins? Are they getting enough sleep? Am I rearing them to be good citizens in society? Does he ever worry about these things. Seems like no. I worry they’ll get a disease later in life and what if I could have prevented it. What if they get hurt really bad and I could have prevented that too. Am I paying enough attention to them. I don’t want anything to get by me. Such as a harmful person in their lives. What if I ignore the signs that something was wrong. Why was I so aloof? Really, these are only a few of my neurotic worries. I obsess over them. I cant enjoy a normal life because im so neurotic. I worry, worry, worry. I was once told by a person that I was a manic depressant! I took offense to it but now some years later I am starting to think that there is truth to it.
I LIKE to cry. I think it makes me happier. I LOV to watch sad movies. I get a thrill outta letting my emotions run wild.

Im lonely. Im scared. Im everything all at the same time.
I went out tonight to watch a movie and it was sad and happy. I wanted to do my usual cryfest on the drive home but was sidetracked in the theatre lobby. Someone I knew from long ago stopped me to chat for a few minutes. They wanted to talk about families and how happy they were and all I wanted to say was,” Im in my zone I gotta go so I can reflect on my life and be sad and cry.” but I didn’t. I stood there talking and saying,”oh good. Good. Love the stay at home life”. I answered everything in a happy manner. Im such a cynical person. I was seriously bummed that these people , only trying to be nice, KILLED my depressed buzz!

I was high on depression and my seratonin levels were low and loving it. Then Wham! Someone goes and cheers me up. Dang!

Thursday May 27th

2010-05-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

When you have a baby, you always make sure the door hinges are well lubricated! Nothing worse than a startled baby trying to channel her REM cycle after 3 loooong hours of fighting her to go to sleep.

I always thought my brother and his wife didn’t like to clean their house
(family of 4). They always had something out of place when I visited. I’ve always strived for a tidy home. But now with 3 kids (the big one goes to work Monday thru Friday) I realize how difficult it really is to keep ANY order in our household. If Im ever on time or remember something important. You all best take notice, cuz that’s a rare, seriously, rare thing for me these days. I have relinquished to the fact that my home will never ever again be clean. Really. And I may never grow my hair back. Daily I pull out gobs of it from all the frustration of being a full on stay at home mom!

I feel like I’m that Caddyshack actor that shows in the movie, “Groundhog Day”, with Andy McDowell. My days are so redundant since Reagan was born in December. The days are all the same. After DC gets home I feed everyone, leave the table and kitchen dirty. Throw everyone in the tub. Suds them up, rinse them off, lather them up with cream, tuck them in with a book or music. Take a minute to catch my breathe. Then….off to the kitchen and laundry room I go. Merrily on my way, I load the dishwasher, throw in a load of laundry, pick up toys, take out the garbage, watch my husband click away at the computer or push the buttons on the remote, fold yesterdays laundry, get mad at myself because I just realized I Forgot something REALLY important, take another breathe, remind myself to go pee, then I’m off to continue my stepsister duties. By now its midnight and I’m almost finished and the baby starts to cry. Its feeding time again and relieve her from a sopping diaper. *sigh* breathe. So now I’m tired. Still have to brush my teeth and wash my face. By now its 2 am and I’m not in the mood to go to bed. Why? Because I know in a matter of hours Ill have to get up and DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! *sigh*

That don’t happen to me. Is the title of DC’s Section he wants added to my blog. He wants a section so he can put in his 2 cents. What for? Its not like we care what he says. Right ladies? ;o)

DOMS ON THE COMPUTER SEARCHING EBAY FOR A STUPID POWERWHEEL VEHICLE FOR HIMSELF. He wants to sup it up with a chainsaw motor so it’ll top 20 mph. He’s obsessed with this idea. Stupid is what I think it is! All the while he’s listening to Rhyan’s show, “Phineas and Ferb” on the Disney Channel and chuckling away. So I think my blogs are funny and Im reading to him before I post ‘em. He says to me, “Put the kids to sleep! What are you doing on the computer!” I give a look that says, “Excuse me”! Oh did I mention, Rhyans Powerwheels Barbie Jeep has been dissected in the Garage for 4 days now. And night after night DC searches Youtube and ebay for more ideas. STUPID! Real dumb!
Whatever floats his boat right?

Oh have I told you all that DC is creeped out by the teletubbies!

4 days till Summer Break Begins

2010-05-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Its official, the baby has eczema. Yuk! Yuk! She scratches her face and her bleeding starts. When we wake up in the morning we have to change her bedding becuz of blood stains. Not much but still enough to leave pin size marks. poor baby, i know!

Last nite we ate Tacos for dinner. Rhyan enjoyed it more becuz it was ala carte. I placed all the fixings on the table with her 'naked' taco. She had a blast decorating her tacos. Surprisingly, she ate more veggies that way. WOW! If i made her tacos for her. She always complained about eating the veggies. I watched silently as she grabbed more and more veggies b4 every bite. WOW! I say again. really im shocked.

I asked Ryan to help set the table. I repeated asked for her to grab the napkins, cheese, and cups. She wasnt listening. Usually I have to scream over and over to get her attention. But not last nite. I've been trying another approach when her ears decide not to work. Selective hearing, really. When she wants to hear what you have to say, she'll absorb it. otherwise, in the ear and out the other.

In a calm voice I repeated, "Rhyan, Rhyan, Rhyan, Rhyan." of course several times. Till finally she looks over at me, "yes, mom". Our eyes meet and I say calmly, "cheese."

Rhyan's eyes are already on me, she immediately breaks into a big grin and poses for a long while. I look back at the tomato's and lettuce that im working on. Glimpse back at her and shes still in the same pose and smiling from ear to ear. lol!

I burst into laughter and almost pee my pants. It dawns on me. She reverted back to her toddler days when we would ask her to say cheese and smile big for the camera. (im still laughing)Dominick's bouncing reagan on his lap only feet away and see's what has happened and begins to chuckle.
Rhyan's clueless as to why we're laughing.
I tell her, "Rhy, get the cheese out you silly girl!"

She chuckles alittle and says, " Oh!"

It was the cutest moment Ive had with Rhy in a very long time. *grin grin*

Weight loss update

2010-05-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

still fat!

A Blog Comes To An END ?

2010-05-05T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have been contemplating cancelling Rhyans News Blogsite. Its too much for me to keep up with two blogs. I cant even get in the kitchen to wash dishes nor have my floors been vacuumed or mopped in months. Gross, I know! But its the truth. erks me just to type that news. I ignore it hoping if I dont look at it much - it wont bother me. But it does. really im lucky if my toilets get cleaned.

With this said Let me tell you about what has been floating around in my head. First, let me tell you whats going on in my house right now. rhyan is asleep in our bedroom (mattress on flr), reagan is sleeping next to her dad on the bed, and DC too is fast asleep. I have piles of dirty laundry piled in 3 different places. My sink is full of dirty dishes and bottles. Although, no one's cooked today, Im clueless as how we managed to get a full sink of dirty dishes. Didnt cook because me and the girls went to Ms. Kims house for dinner and Dom ate food that Ms. Donna prepared and so graciously dropped off for us. Thank you Ms. Donna for keeping our refrigerator stocked and our bellies full. Im happy to report that my kitchen floor is swepted but not mopped. Oh well, cant have everything, right? BTW: ms. Kim, we loved the pasta and the conversation. thanks for inviting us.

So back to what I have to report about my life thus far.....
I have decided that Im a goal oriented person. If I dont have goals, I fall into a slump where I feel like I have nothing left in life. sounds ridiculous but really thats how maniac depressant I am. Also if you ever read that Im running off to the movie theatre more than usual, its usually because Im depressed and trying to take my mind out to a fantasy world. Im running away from reality! Anyway, I have set a few goals pertaining to my health.

I am gonna train for a 10K race for the 2010 year. My first race is a 5K in ABQ in July, The Nob Hill Run. I have Ms. Kim committed to train with me. Next, I wanna run a half-marathon (13.2 miles) for 2011. Then before I turn 35 yrs old (july 2012) I want compete in a triathlon. The wimpy tri will do for me. That is a short 5k run, a 375 yd swim, and a 12 to 15 mile bike ride. No way could i ever run 26 miles-bike 6miles - and swim 800 yds. you crazy!

so there it is! Thats what I plan on doing and hoping it'll raise my selfesteem and inevitably get me in shape. Wish me luck. I wish you all a year of extraordinary goal achievements and break throughs from your comfort zone!

Reagan 4 months old

2010-04-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

She loves to hit the table while were all sittin 'round talking or eating. Still hates the carseat. really, its embarrasing to have people stare at us. Reagan can be a happy camper until its time to leave. she arches her back, gets as stiff as a board all the while, screaming! Cuz the kid doesnt want papa and gamma to buy 'em things.

176 lbs 3 month post baby figure

2010-04-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

can it be doneagain?????????????????
can i lose the week again and then some???????

Look how frumpy ,,,,, ewh!

hello world

2010-04-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

Cant get enough of Phineas and Ferb on Disney channel! lol !!!!!
too funny. if you get a chance to watch, quirky!

I have three other favs on the Disney channel programmin... Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly & Suite Life of Zach and Cody! I know there childrens' shows but I think there funny... in there own innocent way. No more rated R nonsense for me these days. Yes, my days are spent watching Sleeping Beauty over and over as well as reruns of the forementioned tv shows. Rhyan finally caught the latest viewing of the Lizzy McGuire Movie. She enjoyed the movie but thankfully she chooses to cover her eyes when the characters kiss. Love it! Hope she continues this behaviour until shes 30. lol.

So Ive surrendered to fact Im getting old. Im getting really bad acne with many scars. I still have the pregnancy mask and a lot of wrinkles. So Ive looked into Fraxel resurfacing! Its pricey and its all out-of-pocket costs, obviously no insurance will cover. So Ive been researching and its kinda scary. I mean real scary. I cancelled my consultation in ABQ but will eventually look into it in the future. For now, I'm on my 3rd day of Proactiv treatment. We'll see if it works for me. It promises, besides clear acne, to fade dark spots and acne scarring. So far with only 3 days of treatment I have seen a big difference in the redness of my skin, not rosacea, but the tiny capillaries that are present on the cheeks. Also, I can see the fading in some of the dark spots in the cheek area below my eyes. Or maybe it isnt pregnancy scaring but rather clogged pores. Huh? who knows. Im happy its working for now. Ill keep you updated.

Next find pictures of my current figure at 176lbs. As I stated prior, I only gained 7 lbs after the delivery swelling at my 2 week post op appointment. But as of 4 months later, today that is, I have gained 176 minus 156.... is ........ twenty pounds. eeekkks!! Thats crazy. Just a month and a half ago it was 14 pounds. Uh Oh! Im gaining too much weight. But you know what ? having a newborn is hard on the psyche! I love children but sometimes I think that I wasnt meant to be a caregiver of a baby. Sometimes she drives me batty! Other days Im so happy I cant contain myself. I know its an adjustment or the hormones or .. or... or....! reagans a blast but I cant wait till she stops with the constant cry to be held! LOL ! really I love the girls and I cant wait till we can mimic Lousia May Alcotts novel with MY 'little women'. cheers to a good day!

R u a version of your youth

2010-03-13T22:42:00.000-08:00

Do you play your music from your teens years or rebellious college years with the windows down, speakers blaring, once in a great while tryin to reclaim some trace of my SELF ??????

I run away to the movie theatre to find that yummy, feel good feelin' from a romantic comedy chick flick. It works for about an hour after I leave the theatre and then WHAM I get home and its back to Reality! Mommyhood slams the breathe outta me when Rhyan yells out asking what I brought home for her. Reagan has one very nice warm and steamy wet diaper waiting for mommies loving hands! YEp, thats my life. Take it or leave it. I'll take it and Ill love everyminute of it!

2010-03-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

Pictures: Reagans prior to her blessing at church. Rhy and lil sis wearing the same sweater (cheesy but cute). Reagan humiliated by mommy in jan tryin on her Christmas dress.

I know i havent been consistent. Believe me when i say I have nt been consistent with anything in my life lately. Except bottles, diapers and crying lil girls. Rhy cries about everything and its annoying. reagan cries becuz she wants to be held ALL the time. At first it started at 1.5 months old...we thought colic.....later realize its formula agitation and constipation. Then 2 wks later is starts again. With very lil sleep on my part, she begins again with the none stop screaming. Come to realize 4 days later .... the kid is teething! Doh!

So Ive had my ups and downs with her questionable attitude. The crying and fustration gets worse when Dom is out of town or working long hours. I dont get a break and come the 2nd day with out relief Im ready to tear my hair out and im cryin from sun up to sun down.

I keep thinking soon this to will have to end. So waiting for that moment to happen patiently. Reagan used to be a good kid and now shes just a menace. Its weird how she cant sleep without Rhyan near her. She can fight the sleeping all day but as soon as Rhy jumps into bed, reagans right there snoozing away. Even when Rhyans at school and the house isquiet .... reagan is missing her sis and waiting for her to return. its hilarious!

Can u believe Rhyans finally losing her first tooth. Shes so excited ... she said she cant wait to find out what the toothfairy will give her... $1 or $0.25.

Im trying to find the will power and encouragement to start my weight loss plan.... but its seriously lacking. has been and dont see me finding it any time soon.

Who's Who

2010-03-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

Can u pik Rhyan and Reagan???

rambles

2010-03-03T11:04:00.000-08:00

Feb 11, 2010
Wow I missed typed the year, the date above read 2020. Can U Imagine what it’ll be like in ten years. Ill be 42 yrs old. GULP!! And Rhyan will be 16 yrs old. Double gulp! My Lil Reagan will have just turned 10 years old. What about u all? Think about it. I wonder if Ill still be in lil town New Mexico or will we still be living in the same house. ???????
Last night I was filing out Reagans Blessing Record sheet to be filed with the Church. Afterwards, I opened my scriptures and thumbed through, randomly opening to a passage about baptism and blessings of an infant! WOW! Amazing how the lord speaks to us! :O)
Reagan and Rhyan got shots yesterday and its been nice. Reagan has been eating and falling right bak to sleep. Last night I got some good zzzzzzz’s. She so tired. Her lil body is exhausted from making lil antibodies and apparently its a lot of work. ;O)
Feb 9, 2010
So much for the forecast! We we expected to get snow Monday, Tuesday, Weds. So far nothing has happened. Its been sunny and no flurries for miles.
Reagan has started her REM cycles. She stays up for hours on end. Once it was 8 hrs, then 5 hrs, and this morning 3 hrs. I have nt been reading my baby book (Owners Manual! Hahaha) so I cant remember if this is normal? Rhyan has had a major growth spurt again! I’ve been so busy with Reagan, breastfeeding problems,sleep deprivation, cooking and cleaning I havent noticed how small her school clothes have gotten. The other day she went out the door with a very short dress shirt in her uniform, when she lifted her arms overhead her belly showed. Not good! So We are going thru her closet again to weed out small outfits for packing away.
Im currently working on several projects that are all unfinished. I should have emphasized that their all unfinished! Right now Im working in 17 valentines day treat boxes with cardstock. Ugh! I wanna do it but this time Ive bitten off more than I can chew. I also would like to make 9 more for my primary class at school. I used to hold on tight to my stampin up supplies for a special occasion. Now Im from the school of thought : LIVE FOR TODAY! So Im using up all my supplies in every capacity. I thank everyone for anything all the time. I consider myself a brand new person. I stop and smell the roses per se. All those important things I used to put off - take precedent over all others. Any how…..

Reagan's almost 3 months old

2010-03-02T21:54:00.000-08:00

Picture of our lil chunky munkey! At Feb 10th peds appt she was 11lbs and 1 oz. Im sure shes well over 12 lbs by now. ;O)
She is gettin so big and has a definite personality now. She can scream her little head off but the minute shes picked up...it stops. Like nite and day. no Joke! Then she catches her breathe and soon after begins to talk to you. Almost like shes chewing u out for not coming to her rescue sooner! lol. Rhyan adores her but is still on edge with us. She cries at the drop of a dime. *sigh* really stressful.No matter what I do I cant win with Rhyan. Even if i try to love her more, shes cries bcuz im neglecting Reagan. *gulp* . hopefully it'll pass sooner rather than later.

Reagan's First Few Days here!

2010-01-29T10:14:00.000-08:00

These are pcitures of my DH and baby in ABQ Presbyterian in NICu. See the blankets covering that light. That was her bili-lamp, she UVbathed under that for 3 or 4 days straight. It was aweful. It made her groggy, hot, red -skinned, and we could only hold her for 20 mins durations at 3 hr intervals for diaper changing and feedings. DH went to NICu with baby on Thurs (12/10) but I wasnt released from smalltown, NM until saturday (12/12). Traveled to ABQ and didnt get to hold my baby until 5pm that day. When she was born I wasnt able to hold her b/c of IV's. I spent 40 mins to an hr with her before my body began to play trips on me. Confined to the bed after being sliced open only hrs prior, the nurses and dr's made an exception and let me crawl into a wheelchair to rolled into nursery to see Reagan after we got the worrisome news about her planned airplane ride in the next few hrs. After sitting with her for 40 mins I began to get dizzy and very nauseous. Then I was forced to get bak into bed. Waiting and crying for the next 3 hrs (thats how long it took plane to get to our town from ABQ). Yes, they have to call in an order, wait for next available Emergency Neonatal response team to assemble and fly over. But it was the most dreadful time. Your baby needs help ASAP and u have to wait - its like hey man, my kid needs help, we couldve driven her there faster. *sigh*

Reagan born in Smalltown, NM 12/0/09@909am.

delivered by Cesarean Section (placental abruption).

Blood sugar levels low, couldnt see her for 10hrs. All our visitors, including her dad, were able to see her. Although, just on the other side of the wall of my room I wasnt able to visit her. Drs concernced about her bilirubin levels and sugar level. So they continued her on IV for those 10 hrs. I was told I would be able to see her just as soon as she stabilized. Waiting patiently hour after hour, told at 12pm and then at 3pm that I could hold her at 6pm and begin nursing.

When 645pm came and went I had had it with being nice and waiting patiently. I was ready to get medieval on dem nurses and doctrs! Five minutes later the pediatricians walked in and gave us the bad news......

Reagan had a rough time with the c section, had to be resucitated shortly after delivery because of all the blood she ingested, blood sugar levels low, bilirubin levels at high marks (AO incompatibility), and NOW, she had abdominal distention. That means her tummy was swollen and it wasnt getin any better. She was on a dextrose drip (IV) and should have had a bowel movement ... but nothing. So we were told she would be air vac'd to the neonatal intensive care unit in ABQ. We couldnt believe what was happening!

PICTURES OF LAST WEEK (37TH) OF PREGNANCY!

2010-01-29T09:59:00.000-08:00

HOW SCARY IS THIS PIC OF ME ONLY 4 HRS AFTER C-SECTION. EEKS!!! NOTE: AT THISPOINT IM STILL ON MORPHINE & OTHER WONDERFUL NARCOTICS.....

MY DH AT DAY 5 IN ABQ NIC-U, TIRED AS ALL HECK AND SO READY TO B TOLD BY DR'S IYS OK TO TAKE BABY HOME. BUT WE HAD TO WAIT 3 MORE DAYS.

SIDE VIEW.

ME AT 37 WEEKS. PICT TAKEN 4 DAYS B4 DELIVERY DAY.

DANG GIRL, U HHHUUUGGEE!!!!!! LOL

2009-12-03T07:46:00.000-08:00

Im back ladies!

I have been crazy busy...in and out of the house for several weeks. I havent been napping. But I think Im finally prepared for all that needs to be done AT home. The only exception is I want to craft so desperately, but I have lil time for anything else. I would rather put it off and make things easy on myself. For instance, I bought all my greeting cards this year. I didnt bother making them - as you all know - I always make em. Shocker right?
But Im back online and checking all my internet accounts and actually opening all my email. Including the ones from my shopping departments, like GAP, oriental trading, JCP, Amazon, etc. I have been avoiding most of these emails and sites for the past 4 months. If I pay attention to every last one of them I could be on the internet most of my day, starting at 9am and next thing you know its 230p and time to pik up Rhy.

So back to blogging and sending out greetings. I have been busy planning my baked goods that I will hand deliver. Dom suggested we purchase these personalized cookie tins (filled) from Oriental trading, 6 tins for $9.99. I would have purchased 18 and used the coupon from the magazine ($10off). But after we ran thru cost and shipping and the estimated arrival. It wasnt worth it. I wanna get these things outta my house ASAP, like within a week. So I have only immediate family to worry about. So Im bak to original plan of baking something and handing them out with cards. As usual, in rhonda Fashion, I was gonna make tons of baked goods PER PERSON and hand them out. Cuz I always think that quantity is better than quality. I know terrible rite? But by now Ive surrendered that thought and figured a lil $1 container from DOllar Store would suffice with peppermint candies and a quik card is enuf acknowledgement for anyone. Right? I mean what do people expect ... Im expecting and their lucky Ive even decided to do this . lol! Plus we are all in an money crunch situation, right?
So thats the plan . But I still have to bake pumpkin bread Cuz its the easiest to do in large qty's. and I still have to make several batches of Applesauce cookies, wrap and hand out to others.

Usually I make my moms famous sugar cookies and hand decorate all of em with royal frosting but that job is SOOOOO tedious. There yummy and so worth it but not right now. I can hardly sit in a chair upright for more than 20 mins without pain and having a strong urge to urinate. lol!

So applesauce cookies are a good sub and they have all the holiday spices (cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, etc) in 'em so I figure it'll suit.

LAst night I tried a new recipe from internet for Chicken Tetrazinni. So yummy! Its a meal Rhy eats at school and hates. I wanted to try and see how gross it really is. SImple recipe. Nothing fancy or difficult. I had everything on hand. I chose to do the simple version rather than Giada de Laurentis version. She always does things the HARD way. Have you ever noticed she loves to use a food processor. ONe! I dont own a food processor. So most of the time I change the channel before she even begins tocook. Makes me depressed. LOl! Heres a quik descript. of what was involved.....

Chk Tetrazinni

cooked chk breast, tenderloin, or whole chik deboned
cooked spaghetti noodles, boiled in chk broth, sprinkle with EVOO after draining.
in separate pan, sautee onions and grn pepper in 1/2 butter (not a paula dean recipe, mind u)
Then add to sauteed mix, can of cream of mushrm soup, 50z evap milk can, pound cheddar cheese or velveeta block. after mix is melted pour in chk and noodles. mix well. add to baking dish, bake 350'F for 30 mins. Yum-o!

We had this with our traditional spaghetti with meat sauce, salad, and garlic breadstix. IT was delish! Rhyan again, not liking marinara sauce nor alfredo sauce, chose to eat her plain noodles with an apple, and salad drenched in ranch dressing! *grunt* why cant this kid eat any of my food? Seriously, if it doesnt come wrapped in a mcds container she wont eat it! *scream*

whatever happen to the simple life?

2009-12-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

Dominick and I have been goin crazy organizing and planning for this month. And now its here and it still feels like were going bonkers!
We've been going and going and going, its crazy busy here with other peoples plans, our plans, and the like!
We are so sleep deprived and the new kid hasnt even arrived. We have gone through sooo many To-do lists and marked plenty of things off - its never ending. Im a list-maker and when things need to get done - I make a list! A chart! a binder! complete with title covers! what a geek, right! Im so type A personality like that. lol! Really its a sickness.

Im have been completing list and making new ones for whatever new comes my way and I think this is why im stressing out. Cuz my lists arent marked off! eeks!!!!
I have my hospital bag complete, baby bag ready, christmas cards sent out, gifts ALL wrapped, christmas dinner completely planned, kitchen organized, some of the rooms straightened out as much as possible (when you live with a pack rat like DOm) and pantry stocked.
All I have to do is some baking for hand delivered gifts and spend some QUALITY time with my 5 yo. I need to do one last hurraah with her. I do everything with her, all the time. So its kinda hard to find something special to do with her without it being service for others OR spending money on junk (which I know she'll love). I want it to be very special cuz as soon as that kid arrives we will be so busy esp. if the breastfeeding pans out.
Whats the nicest way to tell people to stay away atleast for a month - until we feel comfortable enuf for others to visit the baby during this cold season.
I told DC that I was gonna send out lil inserts (inside xmas cards) with a brief description about our concers with the Swine flu and the baby visits. But! he got really offended and said we would just vocalize it to them when time comes. *grunt*
So I told him no visitors to hospital or house the first few days and that info was backed up by the nurse at the hospital while touring the LAbor & Delivery Ward! The RMCHCS hospital said due to the conditions of the H1N1, there can be no more than 2 visitors at a time per patient. If your sick with any slight symptoms, stay Away! So that'll be nice with exception of Rhyan. No children under the age of 15 are not allowed in Hospital. So forever how long Im in the hospital - she will not be able to see me! Which..... will be very difficult for ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I havent been away from her more than a day - since 2005! *awe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

The planning and tasks we've been doing are not ridiculous - there realistic! we have so much to do. clean! get rid of excess junk. We have absolutely no room in this house with all the junk we've collected. So we've had to rid our closets to make room for the new member of our family.

OH! by the way....we have yet to set up our tree. We just put away the Halloween decorations last night (All the way up to the attic). Its amazing how much u realize u make a great team with your partner - only when one of you are incapacitated. I cant lift heavy things and poor DC had to grunt his way from the garage to the attic opening in the hallway! I wanted to help so badly. I hate to see him struggle. But hes such a trooper. He did all the work, completely capable, by himself. but you just wanna help out people - u know?
So after my lists are complete. Dom hits me with "his" TO DO LIST! which makes me upset. Its down to the last qtr and he says he has all these things he needs to prioritize. *LOUD GRUNT*
Why?!?!?!?
Why couldnt he have taken care of this earlier! Why!?!?!?
He always does this to me. I cant stand it!
Oh!!! yea!!! by the way he also throws at me - that he has atleast 3 projects at work he needs to complete before he takes leave for the b-a-b-y comes!
So Im thinking I have the next 3 weeks to spend the evenings with my hubby before Ryan goes on break, before my mother comes to stay for 2 wks, and before the lil ones pops out of the oven! BUT NOOOOOOO!
He has to work Saturdays, and come home late monday thru friday for the next 2 wks, AND AND AND go to work an hour early every morning. So not only are we not eating dinner together, but we dont even see him before he leaves for work in the morning! *screams*

*Sigh* but I guess this is all to be expected with another person in our family. right? So there goes my once simple life with just the three of us. Goodbye! See ya again never. But on a happier note we have one more time to experience all those cranky moments while fixing a bottle, steaming poopy diapers that need changing and all those silly giggles we hear when another lil one makes our baby laugh! *sigh* Life is great and so are babies! love u all and have a good week!

Wedding Day in Vegas

2009-11-09T11:08:00.000-08:00

So Dom's brother got married in Vegas on sat evg. and I forgot the camera. We got back to the room after lunch at Circus Circus with Rhyan and we all crashed without setting the alarm clock. Waking up late we had little time to throw ourselved together and Dom and Rhy went down 20 mins b4 to get truck and pull around to valet. Well this prego lady had a hard time getin herself together and catchin an elevator down. Elvis snubbed me inthe elevator and let it close b4 I could jump in. That jerk!

So after we took group pictures at the chapel and left for the reception site I tried to get my hubby to bring camera back from the room. He forgets. So I gave up! We all dressed so nice and no pictures. B4 I could take our family photo Dom changed his clothes. *growl*. The buffet in conference room made me very happy. Last time I ate = 200pm. Dinner served at = 815pm. Too long for this momma! So I had a total of 4 plates next to me. Didnt eat everything. Just had to try almost everything and I hated most of it. For dessert I had 2 plates full of treats. Ate only a few bites of all. Again I had to try it all. This kind of behaviour wouldnt jive if I WERENT pregnant. The food was alright but for the most part it was gross. All the meat was too dry and no good side dishes, except the stuffing, red potatoes, and vanilla pudding. Oh and lets not forget the mediocre dinner rolls with butter. Mediocre but still it was a dinner roll! Yummy! I wanted something else to eat after this although I had much food dished out...I ate very little. The only thing I really enoyed was the dinner salad and my diet soda. So this is a picture of me back at the room by myself standing in the entry way! Dom already in his pjs and ry running around naked crying she cant find her pjs. *sigh* the life of a mother. So here is my family picture for the day - me! looking all pretty all... ...by..... my ......self!

Vegas Aftermath

2009-11-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

Im gonna make this quick becuz Dom just came in from the garage and is sittin on the couch! Do you know how hard that feat is to accomplish. He's sittin, watchin the hunting channel, no doubt psyching hisself up for the big hunt in January and February!
I wanna jump on the couch with him and have some cuddling time before he either....falls asleep or runs into the office to jump on the computer! hee hee.
So made it to vegas with our new car, had to take it to dealership on friday morning becuz check engine light came on.
Forgot stroller in car and walked strip with a 5 yr old for two days .. poor kid ( i know!)
Saw many attractions on Friday and Saturday!
Most of them without Dom, he was at dealership or at the roulette table (sigh)!
Rhyan had fun but was super tired by 7pm, good for us...cuz we wanted to get her off the strip by nightfall! too many crazies and much profanity and debauchery after nightfall!
Dom would joke and liken her to Will Smith character on the movie, "I am Legend", Will's character goes into lock down shelter b4 dusk so the demon mutants will not eat him! lol I know what a weirdo.
Yeah, So.. we had rhyan in the hotel room for bed by nightfall and recuperation for the next days activities. She loved the wedding and actually started crying. She was embarrased she was crying and tried to wipe her tears b4 anyone saw. AWE!!!!! adorable, right?
So my computer is down and as soon as I get it up again I will upload the pictures from Vacation.
take care and hope you all had a good halloween weekend.

Prego NEWS!!!!!
- weight gained 2 lbs from last appt. = 176 lbs
- fundus height = 32 cms
- baby heart rate = 140bpm
- mommy blood pressure (bp) = 116/79
- craving alot of stuff but mostly eaten like a truck driver.
- I have am enormous appetite! Dom makes oinking noises when I eat! LOL ;o)
- baby moving frequently
- belly huge! I mean HUGE!!!! U know Madagascar when MOto Moto says to Gloria, "Dang Girl U HUGE"!!!! Thats what Dom says to me often. lol

Hamburger Helper Update!!!

2009-10-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

As you remember I made 3 different boxed dinner meals - and none of the two picky eaters here at either one. Oh wait! I take that back...Dom and Rhy really liked the Asian Beef Stir Fry from Hamburger Helper. I think Betty Crocker makes 'em? I didnt care for it much. I didnt care for a single dish i made. Wait! yes I did. I enjoyed the Beef Stroganoff. The Tomato Penne Pasta is still in the freezer. My father will be over to house sit on Halloween. So... I'm thinking of defrosting for him! hee hee. that man will eat just about anything :-).

So Ive been really busy with the Halloween party planning, the Vegas trip planning, and costume making, and church activities and rummage selling! Happy to report that we made $280 at our garage sale two saturdays ago. Mostly happy that I rid my house of alot of excess clutter. Gave my mother alot of her things back that I borrowed years ago and to this day never used, i.e. George Foreman Grill, molding cake pans, maternity chair, etc.

Rhyan had her first lemonade stand at the garage sale. At the last minute I made a few dozen sugar cookies, and cupcakes. I mean the very last minute, the night before at 8pm I was still frosting and placing 'em in cutesy packing for sale. I made $15 and Rhy made $10. Hurrah! lol...

She wanted to rush off to the Dollar Store right after. The money she earned was burning a hole in her pockets. lol. I told her to save it for Vegas and to my surprise a week and a half later she still had all her money in her purse tucked away in her suitcase just for that purpose.

I had only known this because for 2 - 3 days after the yard sale I was running around the house looking for change for the laundrymat! I wanted to wash the blankets before the Halloween Party ( I didnt want stinky body odor lingering in the house when peeps came over). So after hours of looking and puting the whole idea off until I could get over to ATM halfway across town... my daughter gave into my fustrations and pulled out her stash! Surprised I fell to my knees, helping her dig into the suitcase on the carpet and expressed over and over how proud I was she took such good care of her money. I then promised I would give her money back just as soon as I could. What a sweetheart! I was mostly amazed she kept the money in a safe place because usually she totes it around everywhere with her and ends up losing her wallet or takes it out and starts to play with it. So yes, I was proud of my lil girl! ;-p

Hamburger Helper anyone?

2009-10-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

Ialmost ran out of frying pans to cook with this evening! lol

whats in my garage?!!

2009-10-09T19:59:00.000-07:00

See all the ground beef in those 2 lb chubs? I have 17 more chubs to eat before freezer burn takes over! ;o) The picture on the right shows the beef roast and steaks we have to eat. Wheres the beef?

See the Jeep window or plywood I should say. Dom broke the window while trying to adjust the springs or tighten teh bolts..... something. Either way the window is still broken. Happened 2 nights ago. He keeps making fun of me and my indian car! Atleast he was kind enuf to paint it black so it wasnt TOOOO obvious. Yea like thats gonna help!

And that is our lil freezer that dom makes fun of becuz its so tiny. He said it would hold ALL of 2 steaks. Whos laughing now buddy! We have a butt load of meat and i dont c him complaining about the grocery bill?!?! heh!

Today is Friday, October 9, 2009

2009-10-09T16:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we have the last soccer game of the 2009 season. Yahoo! terrible right? Im glad its over but sad for Rhyan. Its her only connection outside the home and away from school she has to communicate with other children. I feel bad that Im glad its over. tailgate party afterwards..so neat of her coach to play it. I dont really wanna be there and i know neither does Dom. So guess who has to unfortunately be the one to stay while she eats her hotdogs in the parking lot, me! Dominick will surely find an excuse to head out early so he doesnt have to stand around with a bunch of parents conversing about stuff.

tonight I made 4 dinner's for the next couple of days. I had no choice, i defrosted 4 lbs of ground beef from our freezer and had to make use of it. So I made 3 different Hamburger Helpers and seasoned taco meat. Luckily for me Rhyan enjoyed all of them. yippee!

My dad took one of his cows to a meat packing place in Arizona and gave us tons of BEEF! So we have alot of 2 lb chubs of ground beef. The only thing up till now that ive used it for: taco meat and spaghetti! So getting tired of it all. So yesterday I went grocery shopping and purchased 8 boxes of Hamburger Helper to keep the family happy. We never eat the stuff so I thought it would be a nice change up to the ordinary. Both Dom and Rhy loved all the flavors. Thank goodnes! Im tired as heck but for the next few nights all I HAVE to do is push a few buttons on microwave and tah dah..... dinner is served!

Last night I slept for 3 hrs (i should say I passed out) while dom was home, from 4p -7pm. Poor Rhyan had to watch Disney's Halloweentown and Return to Halloweentown on TV. I felt bad but I just couldnt get out of bed. the day before i cleaned the house like crazy. I have a huge pile of things Im tryin to get ready for a yardsale and give items away. Im Nesting BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no joke. I will take pictures of what Ive done thus far and show you. My house looks tidy but lil does everyone know the millions of unfinished projects I have stored away for that particular "one day" phenomenon. You know that "one day Ill get to that so I better save it today" issue! Well Ive been hanging onto things for over 10 yrs and Im tryin to embrace the rule..."if you havent used it in a year then toss"! So, thats what im doing!

Plus Im finally taking care of pictures that ive been storing for years. Im placing them in appropriate albums or frames and hanging them on the wall. Yes! finally my walls are no longer bare! dominick is finally putting up all the shelves, brackets, hooks, etc that ive saved over the years. I buy em and expect to have him put them up asap. Nope! never happens. always gets pushed aside. So finally hes taking care of business. I have to wall mirrors that have been waiting to be hung for years (over 3) and finally they will be hung this weekend. Extending the wall shelves in the pantry , FiNALLY! No more cramped pantry. trying very hard to make more room for the new member of the family that'll be here in only ...... 9 to 10 weeks! I hope the baby comes at 38 weeks. I sure dont want to inconvenience anyone by having the baby too close to Christmas. Plus, I dont want to be overdue I need this kid to come for a 2009 tax write-off! hee hee!

So I will post the pictures of the meat before you get to read this! Im using DOms computer and it reads pictures soooo slow. Cant wait to take the pictures and post to show u all what ive accomplished. P.S. We finally bought a bissell carpet cleaner and Ive been busy with that as well! If I go into labor early or get put on bed rest u'll all know why! lol!

NO Gestational Diabetes

2009-10-05T11:29:00.000-07:00

The Book I ordered from amazon.com for our trip to Vegas with Rhyan on HAlloween. Neat book! Gives me alot more info and definitely weeds out all the adult crap I dont wanna know about.

This is what happens when your pregnant and forgetful! I forgot to take my glass baking pan out of the oven BEFORE preheating for chicken strips! Doh! (1st and foremost - i never ever store the pyrex rubber lid with the pan and just this one time I did cuz I was in a rush to clean my kitchen)! Double Doh!

The sample of the halloween party sandwich I m gonna make for Oct 24th. Grilled chz jackie lanterns! :0)

one decoration sample Im working on for the party and for the house. Can you see were all ready up and runing with our decor. Thanks to my huby! Ive been waiting almost 4 months for this shelf to be hung. and finally he took care of it in all of 10 MINUTES! why? why? why does it take husbands forever to take care of their 'hunny do lists' hmm? Why?

A trick or treat craft I made last yr for the kids in the neighborhod! Can you believe I made 150of these babies. I found a few left overs in the bins from the attic and had to share cuz I dont think I ever did last yr. It was a last minute idea and forgot to take picts.

NOw on with the news..............................................

I love watching HouseHusbands of Hollywood on the Fox Reality Channel.Its a cute show about hubbies that stay home and take on the domestic housewife duties while their hollywood wives work outside the home on bringing home the bacon. Cute show ... these men would be the kinda guys I would feel comfortable around. I always use to feel more comfortable around the opposite sex versus females. I think its because I dont feel adequate enough to hang with women. I have little in common with them and I didnt grow up like a normal female should. I didnt have a mom teaching me everything. I hung around not-so-appropriate guy gatherings such as autobody shops, underneath a car (doing auto mechanics), bars (yes, garage bars - most of time I had to sit in the vehicle while my dad chatted), etc. etc. Although my dad was a recovering alcoholic he still had to conduct his business with the type of crowd that still frequented these joints. What can I say that was my life. I dont feel bad about it - its what I had to encounter and my dad DID try to shelter me from the harshness of these situations but sometimes you cant cut out everything.

I guess thats the same thing I have to realize with my little girl. No matter how hard I try - she's still gonna hear profanity and see inappropriate things - I just have to talk it over with her! *sigh*

So Yeah back to the TV show. I feel very intimidated by women.. Their conversations - their talents - Thats what I guess I mean when I refer to "Im still a work in progress". But on the other hand I do feel very comforted by older women who seem to understand that Im not a talented "female" per se and that im willing to learn what ever it is they're willing to educate me on. For instance, cooking! I love to learn to cook new dishes. Im not in tuned with what seasoning and spices go with what type of fish or poultry. So when I get an opportunity to pik someones brain I will. Women in my life that have really influenced me in the kitchen were: Lilibeth (my old friend), she was an amazing cook. Man did I love her food! Dont talk with her since my falling out with her over my lil girl and babysitting arrangements. You win some - u lose some! Then there is my aunt michele, she seems to cook like its second nature to her. Its no bother for her to throw things together and the taste is phenomenal. ugh! u couldnt imagine. She can even make ordinary turkey deli sandwiches taste like a gourment meal! lol

Lets see there's Toni, she has some amazing recipes mostly baking that ive tried and I love it. When I duplicate it - it actually comes out yummy. which is amazing for me!

and then lastly, donna, my neighbor! She cooks great food and the only one that can back me up on this one is Dom. He drools over her food. Shes originally from Baltimore and we cant get over her style of cooking. Yum-o! She even bakes awesome treats! Can you believe it. cooks and bakes. Thats one thing lilibeth was never god at - she says, not me.

Boy is it blistering cold today. The winds up to 35 mph and the high for today is 65'F. I wore a skirt today and I froze the lil hairs on my legs right off! :0) Suppose to continue like this throughout the week. with rain on weds, thurs, and fri.

Came close to catching H1N1 from my brother -in-law last week. Luckily I didnt. Dont really think he and his lil son had it either. They were out in about with their symptoms and seemed fine. But just blessed I didnt fall ill with ANY symptoms.

Went to OB appt today and still weigh 167 lbs. Same as 2 wks ago- hurrah!

Well like I told you all if my glucose was over 130mg/dL , i would have to take the 3 hr glucose tolerance test. Well My one hr came back 132 mg/dL. not high but because we live in a HIGh incidence area I had to do it for policy's sake! hate HMO's!

So they put me through the ringer on Friday when I did the 3 hr tolerance test and I was sure I failed it. So all weekend I worried but tried not to stress. Found out today that I PASSED MY 3hr test. I was certain that I failed my test! I was feeling so terrible that I called my regular family practitioner and ordered a 3 month recheck on my A1C and other blood work up. So I had all these lood tests run on Friday and come MOnday I find out the following GOOD NEWS!

A1C = 5.4

3 hr test--> fasting blood glucose (bg)=66, 1hr=124, 2hr=124, 3rd hr= 98mg/dL !!!! Goal is to b below 130mg/dL on all levels. So that was accomplished.

So u can imagine my relief and my happiness when I heard these numbers. YAhoo!

THe only bad news I got was concerning my cholesterol, triglycerides. and my LDL. The Doc said they were high.... how high?! I dont know. I didnt ask. Not like me to not ask for numbers and make a note of it but I think I was still beaming from the good grade on my 3hr tolerance test! I have another appt with family practitioner on Weds. to go over results Ill ask then and get back to you. I will have to definitely hit the walking harder from here on out so I can work on bringing down my cholesterol. Just back in July my cholesterol was said to be great... the doctor even said to me _ "HE wished HIS cholesterol was that good!" that made me feel good becuz he seems like a very trim and healthy individual. So now Im kinda bummed and wanna work on getting the heart back in shape! P.S. got my flu shot today and boy is my arm sore. Remember to get yours!

So thats my news for today and I will post some picture so enjoy and dont forget to read about rhyans news. Luv u all and stay healthy!

Week 27

2009-09-29T12:54:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of me infront of the garage outside on a windy day at one week short of 7 months. My belly looks strange doesnt it? Im sittin really low. If I drop any lower Im sure I'll be peeing my pants by month 8. lol! This is me laughing at something silly or inappropriate that my husband said to me while trying to snap a mug of me. He doesnt like taking candid pictures of me like this for my blog,, he thinks its sooo vain! So any chance he gets to poke fun at me - he will!

I weigh 167 lbs. Too much according to my doctor. My thighs and tricep area are getting very cottage - cheesy! YUK!

(BTW: my neighbor found a snake still alive in her garage stuck to sticky trap - u know the ones for mice... gross just wanted to share that with you)

As of yesterday I failed my one hr glucose test and now have to go in tomorrow and drink more yucky solution and take the 3 hr test. Blood drawn at fasting prior to drink and then at hour 1, then hr 2, then hr 3! UGH! so hate it and so mad - at myself and my body. I hate this blodd sugar stuff - I hate it I just do !

So I have to get back on my strict diet - ive been very bad for almost 7 months and my body's in trouble again. So i went to BK and had my last Fast food sandwich until after the baby is born. I added a small fry and diet soda to top it off. Have to run or jog or walk or maybe even crawl on the treadmill for atleast one hr or push self to do 2 miles. Has to be done. Im tryin to drop down to 160 lbs or atleast 161 lbs before the Las Vegas Wedding on Oct 31st. Doms brother will get married at the Little Chapel of Flowers on the strip. So pretty - you all should google it and see how neat the chapel is. And im sure it costs a pretty penny too!

On my way out to BK I ran into my neighbor ms. dona and we had a nice long talk. She talked about her ailments and her hubbies and all of a sudden my woes didnt seem so bad. So I have to always remember that if I have it not to easy - theres always some else less fortunate than I and I should be grateful for the positive things in my life and not dwell on the bad! No more pity party for me. Oh and she educated me on how to make a quik eggplant lasagna. U know Ive never eaten it and never once concerned self with looking at a recipe and I didnt know u DONT use lasagna noodles. LOL ! too funny right. How sheltered am I? go figure. So now maybe Ill try to make one and see if I like it. BEing a meat eater I think I would prefer to throw in some meat somewhere in that dish.

Also I asked ms . donna to help me plan a halloween party for the lil lady and her munchkin frends for oct 24th. A lil shin dig b4 we set sail to vegas. I will use that cute song that ms toni posted on her recipe/cooking site classical whimsey.. something or other?! I will post the web address soon. When I get around to adding her to my links posting! Cute site - u all have to click on over to it.

So high on carbs and bad cholesterol fat I have to make my way over to rhys school and pick her up. Enjoy the picts and I will post more later and pray I pass my 3 hr test and dont need insulin shots. Blah!

My pity party - To Be Cont'd.....

2009-09-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

Things I miss.....

I miss talking about and doing things not related to my hubby or my daughter. I love em but come one I dont have any personal time any more! I need to plan a trip for myself. I do nothing for myself and if I try to I end up feeling REALLY guilty! So I will vow to be more selfish with myself for the next ...... (thinking) .......hm................................. for the next month, NO, week! yea, lets say week and see how that goes. I'll keep you posted.

I miss...
old friends. my parents. my childhood with my brother. my grandmother before the dementia started. cooking for fun and not worrying about anyones food allergies or saying "yuk i dont like that". baking and eating the entire pan and not having to worry about blood sugar levels. having time to myself. going to the movies at the drop of a hat. buying expensive junk and not feeling guilty about it. dressing nice. listening to music loud in the car. listening to music appropriate for me but not my child, i.e. Ozzy, rob zombie, alike. crafting and not being bothered. being naive. having Dominick as a boyfriend. living in a clutter-free environment. coffee. Burger King Value meals. having my own money. having a job.

just a few things I can say i miss having - the list may get longer. This sparked my thinking when I jumped over to Ms. Toni's blogsite and saw her page of all the things that make her .... HER! She takes the time out to make time for herself and thats a good thing. The only thing I can think of right now that will instantly make me feel better is a whopper with cheese and fries and a large diet soda from Burgetr King! lol

i think its time for a girl trip away from my hubby.. one last hurrah before I have the baby. Ive kept the family so close for the past year and havent wanted to leave the comfort of my home nor my new home town. But I think i need to before I go crazy. I have a trip planned with the hubby and lil one on halloween in Vegas But thats for a wedding. Plus its not so exciting cuz the planning is so stressful. Dom wants to rent or buy a new vehicle for the trip cuz our lil putputs arent gonna make it. too small or too rough to drive in.! either way we have to get to Vegas - so I checked the prices on rentals and for me its toooo expensive. I would rather drive 7 hrs in a cramped 3 seater truck than spend 340.oo dollars on a rental. thats just ridiculous.

I think Im gonna cut this one short and run to burger king and then come back and finish my whining on another posting!!!! c ya will b back with a whopper jr in my belly!

Station Fire Update

2009-09-10T10:33:00.001-07:00

Fire has lost 850 last nite (they went home or assigned to another Fire). Lost 200 personnel the nite before. The estimated containment date is Sept 15th and is 67 to 71% contained according to inciweb.com. The Navajo Hotshots are going to forego their 2 day mandatory R&R and stake out on the mountain for 4 days with MRE's. So I may not hear from my huby for another 4 days. Hoping they get cellservice in the area they'll be camping.

So fire plan is to mop-up as much as they can in the wilderness. After DC stakes out for 4 days he'll have 3 more days before their released. He's getting anxious just sitting around waiting for a detail on the Station Fire. If he's not crazy busy while on assignment he gets stircrazy bored and complains like you wont believe. So I hope they give 'em a task quick!

This fire has been the best since we became a wildland firefighting family in 2004. The IC ordered some great resources to pamper the firefighters. THey slept in AC bunks during the day, hot cooked meals morning, noon, and night. Shower trucks, laundry trucks, free merchandise from local food companies, i.e. MOnster beverage truck stopped in to hand out free cans... Myoplex truck stopped in and gave everyone free shakes! Too cool right. Oh and lets not forget the truck that had WiFi Computers accessible to firefighters to surf to their delight! DC didnt have to open his tent once since Aug 26th (the day they were committed to Station Fire). Neat-o right?!

More picts from the past

2009-09-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

Look at these two chubby monkeys, Easter egg hunting! Werent they so adorable.

Daddy with his big girl at 4 days old!

My silly girl and her dressup outfit for Easter this year! Shes also trying to do a tap dance number with that dowel. Tee hee! Sloutched over shes saying, "MOOOOM!, im not ready...dont take a picture yet!" (Im always getting yelled at.)

picture of my lil one...girl, cuz theres another lil ONE on the way

2009-09-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

This is a picture we took at the Aquarium in ABQ when we took uncle Thomas to airport. He visited for 2 weeks before returning to Maryland. The trip to aquarium was spontaneous and she loved it - although short, it entertained her for an hr and let her forget about missing daddy.

how am i feeling?

2009-09-01T15:33:00.000-07:00

This morning after returning home after I dropped off Rhyan I walked into the house with not a clue. Prior to leaving for the elementary school I was starving. Rushed out the door I figured I would eat when i came home. So 15 minutes later I get into the kitchen and Im not hungry at all .... or is it that Im too sad to eat. Wasnt quite sure what to think then after I forced myself to get all the breakfast food out of fridge I realized that I wasnt rushed and I was cooking for myself. It was strange. The last time I cooked just for me was before in 2002. I cant remember the last time I didnt have to think about anyone else except myself. Im always taking care or entertaining or cooking for someone. If not for DOminick and Rhyan, for my mom her hubby or my dad. Strange feeling I had. So rather than eat at the kitchen table by myself I cooked my eggs and such and went straight to the office computer. I didnt feel so alone while at the computer reading the news and checking on Station fire updates. too funny, huh!

I suppose you mothers out there can relate.

Another hard fact Ive had to learn over the past few nights. NO matter how depressed and lonely I feel I cant let my kid see my despair. Its bad enough Im tryin to stay bubbly for her so she doesnt fall into a depressed stooper with her dad being gone for 7 days now.

Another thing I wanna complain about... Dominick has been gone for 7 days now, but he has 9 more days until his 14th day is up and they take mandatory leave. I was so bummed to hear. Dom said that the 14 day countdown starts the day they check in at the assignment COmmand post. So It took him 2 days to get to his assignment and they've been working for 5. So we have 9 more days of actual fireline time and then another 2 days to travel home. therefore, 11 days before we see my hubby! Not soon enough. Boo hoo!

So off to soccer practice we go. Finally forced myself to get an hr nap this afternoon so this evening Im feelin alil better.

P.S. I think Im gonna give the fire updates a rest for awhile becuz I think its stressing me out. Thats all I have on my mind. Im obsessed with all the updates on the internet on the news channels, the weather channel. cant be good for me I dont sleep inbetween his phone calls and thats not a good thing. Im too frantic to find out the next big story. So I need to take a break and get my nerves back to their natural state. lol talk with you all soon.

Station fire update as of 830pm Tonight

2009-08-31T20:01:00.000-07:00

A Red Flag Warning will remain in effect due to high temperatures and low humidity until 9:00 p.m. this evening. Fire behavior will be much the same as last night with activefire behavior spreading North/Northeast towards Pear Blossom and Little Rock and towards the subdivisions along I-215. The greatest fire activity is expected in the Big and Little Tujunga areas. Fire is expected to spread towards Mt. Wilson and the San Gabrial Wilderness.

The Station Fire is now estimated to be 105,296 acres. The fire is spreading east and north with some northwest spread. Firefighters are making some progression on the NW edge of the fire. Small scale firing operations to help in suppression efforts are taking place north of La Canada Flintridge and Glendale. A hotshot crew and engines from Glendale Fire Department and LA County are reporting that they are experiencing success with the mission. 65 personnel have been pulled back from Chileao Flats for safety reasons. Crews, engines, water tenders are working in the Mt. Wilson area.

The Station Fire continues to burn within the Angeles National Forest and near surrounding foothill communities of La Canada-Flintridge, La Crescenta, Acton, Soledad Canyon, Pasadena and Glendale. The goals of the firefighters are to keep the fire west of Highway 39 and Angeles Crest Highway, east of Interstate 5, south of Highway 14, Pearblossom Highway, and Highway 138, and north of the foothill communities and the Angeles National Forest Boundary. Steep terrain, decadent old growth brush and hot dry weather are factors that drive fire activity. Firefighters are working to build fireline and protect structures within areas affected by the fire.

24 second time lapse video of Station Fire

2009-08-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.vimeo.com/6335740

Station Fire Est. containment date: 9-8-09

2009-08-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

space shots of Southern Cali Smoke becuz of Station Fire and Morris Fire. Also a picture of the Governator from Dom's phone.

Youtube Video's of Station Fire near Glendale,CA

2009-08-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5MJY84nGZw&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad3xlZDLkDw&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CeB894ocmOU&feature=related

Pregnancy Goal

2009-08-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

Well I started my running seriously again so I have to keep it up daily.
Yesterday I jumped on the treadmill and ran 1mile at a 4.0 speed for 15:12 minutes.
Before I got pregnant I was running 1 mile at 4.8 to 5.0 speed in 12:00 to 13:00 minutes.
So Im hoping to improve on my endurance and sustain an entire 2 mile run at a 4.0 speed.
Remember! I have to take that glucose test on Sept 21st to wish me well and hope I can work on my endurance.

My goal is to maintain a good pace for 2 miles without pooping out and run it under 29:30 mins. Thats just under 15 mins per mile. I can do that now but after one mile im ALOT pooped!

What about you guys? any exercise goals you have for yourself... email me at rlgishi@msn.com

Off to another fire!

2009-08-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

OFF TO STATION FIRE NORTH OF GLENDALE/PASADENA, CALIFORNIA. Just released from Morris fire north of Azusa, CA. the Morris Fire will be 100% contained on monday so they began to release crews at 0700 hrs today. But the Station fire, also in the Angeles National Forest, is burning at an extreme rate. It started on Weds. and has burned almost 5,000 acres. The fire is in rough terrain and not accessible to vehicles. so crews will hike to points needed and begin diggin hand lines to restrict fire spread. Wind is only at 8mph. Rate of fire growth is extreme because of the steep slopes associated with the area. Once it gets a run on a slope it'll take off like no ones business. 1800 homes threatned. So almost all 12 crews from the southwest region that were released from Morris fire today are headed over to the Station fire about 60 miles west of Azusa, CA.

heres the website if you want to keep yourself updated

http://www.inciweb.org/incident/1856/

curling irons are Dangerous for clumsy people!

2009-08-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

So i have this gosh aweful scar on my neck that (told by dr.) wont go away or start to fade for another 6 months. Now! we live in Hickytown USA and its a god aweful place to have a mark like this on your neck. Ive been treated so rudely ever since this happen back in June. If I had just slowed down it would have never happened.

I was at Rhyans swim lesson and tryin to curl my hair so no one prejudged how lazy I was in the morning or that I couldnt do the curling at home. I know ! stupid! but im a neurotic mess like that!

DC doing his job! Dont worry Air Quality Acts are always followed. They have to be otherwise the BIA gets fined lots of DINERO!!!

2009-08-27T12:27:00.000-07:00

Dominicks prescribed burns he did yesterday. Can you see the smoke. We noticed it on the way to grants Just as we were headed onto I-40. We see smoke and we say, "MONEY!!!!!" lol

Last Fire of the 2009 Season, HOPEFULLY!

2009-08-27T09:43:00.001-07:00

Well last night after a very long day of prescribed fire burning on the reservation (6am - 7pm).
Hubby gets back to the office with the rest of the crew to find they have been committed to the Morris Fire in Northern Los Angeles, Glendora to be exact.
This is the life of a wildland firefighter.....
Monday - in/out of the office doing paperwork for upcoming prescribed fire burns and contract renewals.
Tuesday - 6am to 6p trying to burn atleast 100 acres to meet the fiscal year quota that will be up for deadline the 1st of sept.
Weds. - 6am to 7p tryin to burn another 140 acres to meet the 15,000 acres requirement for this years goal by sept 1st. If the crew doesnt complete the burn there will be a shortage of money for next fiscal yr.....not a good thing.

He returns to compound to find they need to all rush home, get packs, and begin their long drive toward California. So he comes home stinky and black from the days activities to only change, grab bags, and out the door he goes. TOO much for Rhyan and I - the entire time hes packing we're crying our lil eyes out. So there he went .. out the door to another assignment. Could be five days long or could be the full 14 days gone. Who knows we just pray he comes home safely!