This morning after returning home after I dropped off Rhyan I walked into the house with not a clue. Prior to leaving for the elementary school I was starving. Rushed out the door I figured I would eat when i came home. So 15 minutes later I get into the kitchen and Im not hungry at all .... or is it that Im too sad to eat. Wasnt quite sure what to think then after I forced myself to get all the breakfast food out of fridge I realized that I wasnt rushed and I was cooking for myself. It was strange. The last time I cooked just for me was before in 2002. I cant remember the last time I didnt have to think about anyone else except myself. Im always taking care or entertaining or cooking for someone. If not for DOminick and Rhyan, for my mom her hubby or my dad. Strange feeling I had. So rather than eat at the kitchen table by myself I cooked my eggs and such and went straight to the office computer. I didnt feel so alone while at the computer reading the news and checking on Station fire updates. too funny, huh!
I suppose you mothers out there can relate.
Another hard fact Ive had to learn over the past few nights. NO matter how depressed and lonely I feel I cant let my kid see my despair. Its bad enough Im tryin to stay bubbly for her so she doesnt fall into a depressed stooper with her dad being gone for 7 days now.
Another thing I wanna complain about... Dominick has been gone for 7 days now, but he has 9 more days until his 14th day is up and they take mandatory leave. I was so bummed to hear. Dom said that the 14 day countdown starts the day they check in at the assignment COmmand post. So It took him 2 days to get to his assignment and they've been working for 5. So we have 9 more days of actual fireline time and then another 2 days to travel home. therefore, 11 days before we see my hubby! Not soon enough. Boo hoo!
So off to soccer practice we go. Finally forced myself to get an hr nap this afternoon so this evening Im feelin alil better.
P.S. I think Im gonna give the fire updates a rest for awhile becuz I think its stressing me out. Thats all I have on my mind. Im obsessed with all the updates on the internet on the news channels, the weather channel. cant be good for me I dont sleep inbetween his phone calls and thats not a good thing. Im too frantic to find out the next big story. So I need to take a break and get my nerves back to their natural state. lol talk with you all soon.
