Reagan cries all day long. If Im not holding her, she’s mad about something. I can keep her happy for the most part until its time for a nap. Now a baby her age should be awake 2 hours playfully alert. Then want to nap. But not her. She doesn’t sleep at all during the day. She takes many powernaps. They last any where from 20 minutes to 50 minutes. The only way I can get her to sleep long periods of time is in the carseat, fastened. I know this isnt wise. But really, when your tired and shes throwing herself back and doesn’t want the bottle. What choice do I have. I HAVE tried letting her cry herself to sleep. And honestly, I dread it. Everyday she screams herself to sleep, if not in the carseat, then in the swing, or in her playard. Ive read the literature and Ive tried it all.
I have tried (like I read) to lie her down for naps, let her cry for up to an hour, checking on her every 5 mins. Let me tell you, this kid can out wait you. She’ll scream for up to 2 hrs full on scream and wont tire. Its stressful. I don’t know what to do. But! The minute I walk in or go to pik her up from her fit, she quites instantly, stops all together, and begins to smile. She’s very easy to calm ONCE you pik her up.
Sometimes I get nervous in the morning before the day begins because I know what my days is gonna be like.
When she does sleep for a quik 15 - 30 minutes, I should snooze too. But I don’t. I try to rush around and pik up things or try to groom myself ( by that I mean shower, brush teeth, put in contact lenses). it’s a great achievement if I can brush my teeth b4 1pm. Gross, right!
I came home tonight wanting to cry because I wanted her to stop with it all. Shes causing me to be so sad. And Im sure she doesnt like it either.
But the time out did me some good. Even if I did feel guilty for going out and doing something for myself I came home relaxed and rested. Although, I didn’t sleep. I was away from a house that had constant noise. Its amazing how much noise makes you stressed and tired. Go figure!
The noise! The noise. The noise. The noise. Ugh!
Rhyan dropped RED jell-o on the carpet in the hallway. I was hiding out in the bedroom. As she walked down the hall, eating her jell-o, to come talk to me, she dropped the bowl. I didn’t hear crying. But I did hear in a very sweet and very sorry voice, “ I didn’t mean to do it.” She said it 3 or 4 times. I could hear her dad getting after her. Now! If that had happened after a long day with the kids … I would have had a full on BLOW OUT! I would have screamed and yelled. Maybe even spanked and sent her to bed crying. ONE MORE THING FOR ME TO CLEAN UP! Is what I would have been screaming. But I could sympathize with that sweet voice and I jumped to defend her. Also because I don’t like anyone disciplining my child but me. Even if its my hubby. (now, make note that DC wasnt yelling. He was only using a stern vquite voice - but still i didnt care for it). So I calmly said to her after she came into the bedroom, “ its allright. Its happens and it can be cleaned up.”
I thing my hubby was surprised I wasn’t P-O’d.
So for that one second in her day, I was sane, rational, and responded appropriately to a 6 yr olds accident. The look in her eyes, said she was thankfu mommy didnt freak out. Sometimes I think IM JOAN CRAWFORD, reincarnated!
That very moment I realized although I felt guilty for leaving the house, the kids, the hubby, my motherly duties…I knew it was GOOD FOR ME. And as someone said… if your good - your that much better for the kids. Mommy needs to be selfish 60 % of the time, within reason. So far, Ive been selfish 0% of the time. That explains why Im such a monster. Or as Ry puts it, “ YOU’RE THE WORSE MOM EVER”.
